Pinned ping
Pinned ping

"Val- how do you do it? What is your secret?"
Me: *looks left, looks right*
Me: *motions to come closer*
Me: *leans over and whispers in ear*
"But- you just… made whispering noises?”
Me: *smiles, winks and gives finger guns*

Pinned ping

I don't know who you are. Or whether you're a man or a woman. I may never see you or cry with you or get drunk with you. But I love you. I hope that you escape this place. I hope that the world turns and that things get better, and that one day people have roses again. I wish I could kiss you.


When I was a kid, my mom saw a poster for James and the Giant Peach while out shopping, and when she got home, she said, "I saw a poster for that movie you wanted to see. What's it called? The Lemon is Bigger Than Me?"

Alright, Fediverse, gimme your best cute puppy and/or dog pictures! My wife is upset today and can use a pick-me-up. She loves Labrador retrievers and golden retrievers best, but most large-breed dogs should do the trick!

Thanks in advance!

@viciousviscosity Moms can be cool. I got in trouble because I wore a shirt with a pot leaf on the front of it. Principal called my mom at home. "Did you know your son is wearing a shirt with a pot leaf on it?" Mom says, "Yes, I gave it to him for his birthday." Principal says she needs to bring me a new shirt, and she replies, "I'm not going down there. If you want him to wear a different shirt, YOU come over HERE." :)

@viciousviscosity another story on the theme of parents having their kids' backs in the face of school ridiculousness: taking clarinet lessons, I had to practice every day & get my parents to sign my practice sheets. Well, I didn't practice and my dad gleefully signed every single sheet bc he didn't think forcing kids to practice when they don't want to was a good way to instill music appreciation. 😊

Maslow's partner: "Well, what is it that you want? Just tell me what you need!"

Maslow: *eyes aglow, presents a chart*

When I was in elementary, my friend and I found some small paperclips. I made a small necklace, she twisted and unfurled hers into different shapes, about 20 clips between us total. No pockets, so in the socks they went. She ended up cutting herself, going to the teacher and blaming me. A *pile* of misused/bent paperclips was set before me in the office. A note was sent home to pay for the "damaged" supplies. My mom had my back and sent me with a coffee can full of 500+ pennies.

Tired: feature parity
Wired: feature parody

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