has reached the end-of-life and is now read-only. Please see the EOL announcement for details
Pinned ping

Since will be shutting down, I encourage people to follow my alt at @varx which is probably where I'll do most of my posting (instead of just half of it).

Since will be shutting down, I encourage people to follow my alt at @varx which is probably where I'll do most of my posting (instead of just half of it).

the mastodon instance at is retiring 

for a lot of reasons, both personal and practical, i don't think i can effectively run a public mastodon instance any more, and i need to retire i want to do this responsibly and make sure everyone has a chance to migrate and export properly, so here is the plan for the instance retirement (feel free to share this link around):

due to ongoing moderation load issues and understaffing, between now and 1 november, the instance may be undermoderated. for other instances, if this poses an issue for you, i encourage you to use federation tools at your discretion. i would only ask that you be clear and public about your decisions so that users can figure out where they will be able to migrate their accounts.

thank you

everyone: lol the world is so weird and dumb why is there green goop and huge crushing things everywhere

me, a genius: the world is a masterclass of unfriendly design, the game is a dark as hell comedy where nothing makes sense and every new challenge you see has a newer, baffling reality to it, the world is crumbling around you and you feel like the only sane person even as you go insane, and this is communicated mostly through level design

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OK, I may have taken a few liberties, but this is actually a pretty weird set of ingredients.

Active: Salicylic acid. Comes from willows and whatnot, pain reliever, but makes the outer layer of skin fall off more easily. Pain reliever, and the basis for aspirin.

And then it has camphor, castor oil, ethanol, ethyl ether, and nitrocellulose.

Nitrocellulose is guncotton/flash paper. Explosive/flammable. Mix it with camphor (a weird smelly plant resin) and you get a sort of plastic and can make movie film and guitar picks and billiard balls out of it if you don't mind them burning/exploding. Alcohol is probably in there as a solvent for the camphor.

Castor oil and ether, I could make some guesses, but they'd probably be wrong.

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This wart remover is apparently made of:

- Movie film (the flammable kind)
- Pain reliever / skin dissolver
- Tree wax
- Vodka
- Ether
- Laxative

I see a lot of people complaining about how "RSS readers went away." It's a bit baffling, because they didn't. You just stopped using them 🀷


like, of the toxic water contaminants possible, arsenic is definitely among the most romantic. there is no mystique to fecal coliform bacteria

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Boy! It sure has been a busy day of...

<checks quarterly goals>

..."optimizing sticky eyeballs down the viral funnel." Haha, business!

every day carry. heres my every day carry. i carry my keys wallet phone. keys are VERY important - help you get into your house. wallet has a few things in it. for example money. very useful, easier than keeping it in your pocket. and the phone. i think its an apple phone. i put the keys and wallet in my right pocket and the phone in my left pocket. thats my every day carry. i hope it inspires you to see what you can do with your # hashtag Every day carry

me talking to christians the same way christians talk to me (buddhist):

I'm proudest of "sweating-robot" and "popcorn-fire".

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Updating my resume to highlight all the custom emoji I've made for Slack at each workplace.

child, wondering where trash goes: well someone must have thought of a good solution for all this

adults: we put it into very large holes and then put dirt on top

child: even the plastic?

adults: especially the plastic

child: oh my god

@joshmillard Seems AI isn't quite there yet.

Midjourney prompt: "Menger sponge"

The name "house spider" is a generic term for different spiders including Chiracanthium inclusum, Badumna Insignis, Steatoda grossa, Parasteatoda tepidariorum, among others, so named for their repetitive four-on-the-floor beat and a typical tempo of 120 beats per minute. The species evolved due to selective pressure by Chicago's underground club culture in the late 1970s, as DJs began altering disco songs to give them a more mechanical beat.

Universal Phone Review:
Form factor: black rectangle
Screen: Same as your old phone but not as worn out/burned in
Camera: almost imperceptibly better
Battery life: Initially as good as your old phone was when it was new, then worse
Performance: see above
Looks/thickness: whatever case you end up getting off ebay
Headphone connectivity: slightly less convenient

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I feel sorry for phone reviewers, trying to type out five thousand words without breaking down and gibbering "It's a black rectangle! Just like your last phone! My job is pointless!"

Autocorrect didn't solve the problem of people not looking at what they write before they send it and we ended up trading messy but comprehensible stuff like "waht is teh porblem" for like "East's is the. Probed to"

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the mastodon instance at is retired

see the end-of-life plan for details: