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surely everyone is at least a little bit of a creature right

HS math teacher: What, you're just going to carry that Ti-89 around with you everywhere?

My phone:

Imagine a bun bot wearing a safety vest and name badge, hopping down a warehouse aisle carrying a clipboard. As it gets closer, you realize its pitch black fur is featureless like a morph suit. It passes you and you hear faint beeps and whirrs as its sensors scan the shelves and bays. Its ears perk up, transmitting and receiving data from its operator.

Beep boop

antifascist, anarchist and 2022 uprising prisoner Cyan Bass has been out of funds for a while now and is really in need of new toiletries, shoes and underclothes. unfortunately, he can't receive care packages, so he needs to buy everything through commissary.

if you can help with commissary funds, please send me a dm and i will connect with you.

they can adjust their behaviour in line with inflation, you are I did actually make much sense.

An animal-loving android couldn't help but smile in a desert of shadows

A lot of meta can be avoided if you're too busy gaming, having gay sex, or both

people on this website will go "let's all smash our dicks flat with hammers because it'll be funny" and you freaks will go alright where's the discord server

A bunch of users got a follow from a new Masto starting up called "Glitchbird"

I think the fact that the admin is called "Fedora" and the server describes itself as a "free speech and censorship-free zone" is enough red flags for me to politely decline

vantablack doing gender selfie (cw: eye contact) 

heyyo!!! 🖤

trans girls love to have a canonical heart emoji color

@root i thought D.A.R.E was against drug *abuse*, sounds like you plan to treat the drugs nicely so what’s their prob

i will never not call it florping the pings

caps no context 


There was a sign. It said "To be woken by true love's kiss".
Next to it, a princess sat polishing a sword.
A knight rode up. "Ah, you have already been kissed?"
"No," said the princess, "I did the kissing."
"Oh. Right. Um. And the happy... lady?"
"Right here," said the sword.
#MicroFiction #SmallStories #TootFic

drugs, neutral 

I am def going to drug us to get some uninterrupted deep sleep today. Not taking anything serious. I think we have some kratom still. That should do the job.

“Comparing our suffering only compounds it.” - Calliope

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the mastodon instance at is retiring

see the end-of-life plan for details: