cybre(gesindel) >=> 💾 @the_all@cybre.space

This being a semi-personal acct I won't accept some follow requests -- feel free to follow my other account @the_all though!

a very nice kohlrabi sent me this on the bird site when confronted with the pentagram summoning meme and holy shit i love it
https://cybre.space/media/RiyUPUjuQrVFc2XECmY

good: my headphones don't randonly stop music playback on my phone anymore

bad: they randomly crash android so it has to restart (and thus interrupt playback)

the fact that at times my life actually has content is so damn overwhelming. sometimes i just want to lay all that aside and be a cut-off thing without responsibilities

update: it's still way too hot outside and my body clearly has no motivation to deal with it.

yes i'll continue whining about summer
summer is only good when it's raining

Die Segel sind voll gesetzt wenn wir versinken

to conclude this, i'm both curious to be tested for nerodivergence stuff but on the other hand don't wanna see a professional for this at all. idk

once friends tried to push me to get tested for depression and get a therapy but that never happened either. never got motivation to actually do that. partly because most of the time i think i'm doing okay and if i don't take this seriously why would a professional.

so that's that.

i've been told by good person i'm def not neurotypical and show signs of adhd and at least some characteristics of the autism spectrum...

that's somehow reassuring and made me feel better about classifying my sensations and behavior as different.

still there's anxiety that i'm not _really_ something and so i don't want to appropriate language and terms applying to specific neurodivergencies

i know some ppl do it to avoid sensory overload. and like with much stuff i'm afraid to claim that for myself because i don't know myself too well and don't wanna be an impostor.

i know sometimes input is too much to me. but not sure what kind of input exactly. sound def plays a role, being talked to and being given information especially. don't really know how i should classify my reaction to visuals. but shades are pleasant

been home for some time now and only just noticed that i was still wearing my shades...

i think i like having them on indoors. also did that on a public event some time ago and it is pleasant. makes control of line of sight less stressful because ppl don't see exactly where I look. but apparently that's not only thing i like about it if i enjoy it when alone as well?

i think that's what i did when i was more active on birdside as well but idk i never really got how stuff works i think

relearning how to use microblogging by just oversharing

also i ate too much and that makes for an unpleasant combination. no blood in brain and the pressing heat doesn't make the feeling any better

it's too damn hot todayy