Y'all ever get a quick wiff o something and think "oh man this is bad, I better have "X" coworker/friend smell it as well" but then you go in for the 2ndary confirmational sniff and realize this shit is weapns grade stank, so you gotta protect them cause a war crimes and whatnot.
What I'm trying to say is if anyone comes at ya saying "here smell this, it's an imaging unit for the printer" report their ass to the hague
real discourse Show more
depression, self-loathing Show more
I'm not doing so hot.
Didn't get enough sleep last night.
Even if I did I'd still feel like dank mildewy trash.
Holy fuck everyone get out of my way!
I've got to start a super niche boutique in southwest Ohio called Chintzinnati.
depression brain Show more
twitter link, really cool but kinda creepy Show more
[fans self at Donald Glover in "This Is America"]
Wew lads.
My life is a series of bad jokes told poorly.
The slogan for all stool softeners should be as follows:
We really give a shit.
Coworker: hey st. d,have you seen the punchdown tool?
Me:no...have you tried using your fist?
Coworker: v funy thx
Me: what about making jokes about those lower in the social hierarchy?
politics Show more
Hi! I’m Meli, formerly at mismatched@a.weirder.earth. Sadly a.w.e has been hacked and I miss mastodon too much to go without, so I decided to sign up here! Worst comes to worst, it becomes a backup/2ndary account.
I am a #jewish #queer #leftist #nonbinary #trans (approximately) #chronicallyill #disabled weirdo. I like #knitting #spinningyarn and other fiber arts, I post selfies and cat pics, and i believe internet friendships make the world go round.
*Dead Flag Blues voice*
Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe
MagLite should team up with Trojan Condoms to make a fleshlight.
I'll leave it up to y'all to guess what the name of that product is.
My money's on MagnumFlesh.
Okay, stick with me on this.
The refrain of Do Re Mi from The Sound of Music but sung to the tune of Red & Black from Les Mis.
Source material to aid your imagination.
Les Mis - Red & Black
https://youtu.be/cjp-Gyo5tNM?t=1m43s
"Doe, a deer, a female deer
Ray, a drop of golden sun
Me, a name I call myself
Far, a long, long way to run
Sew, a needle pulling thread
La, a note to follow Sew
Tea, a drink with jam and bread
That will bring us back to Do (oh-oh-oh)"
Noëlle the 8-Bit🏳️🌈🎄
Les American Chopperables (cc @modernmodron
Gonna start a new business making signs. Gonna call it "from God"
"Hey where'd you get that sign?"
(Looks at camera all coy like)
"Oh this little thing is a sign from God"
