There's still much to say about why people with personal issues, insecures, may have tremendous difficulties to build a relationship : they protections they put to survive completely closed these doors and now that the danger is gone (if it is!), reopening them is very, very hard.
Well, I would have much more to say but I don't have the time now.
I hope it makes some sense.
personal thoughts, attractiveness and relationships
No, being attractive in our own life, our own experience, is about being open minded, being an open door ready to welcome the people who are curious about what we are and being able to open the door to the landscape of our personality, showing them :" hey, you want to know who I am? Here, take a look and let me look at you in return" and showing thus the kind of person we are, without shame, or discomfort.