i can't believe how hard homesickness hits sometimes but i'll be fine one minute and then bawling out of nowhere

home wasn't even that KIND to me

but then i guess it usually isn't

home was wandering around the CWU campus at 3 am in the dead of winter because i loved how quiet everything was with snow on it

home was a cozy little studio in an apartment house built in 1910, furnished with junk from goodwill, having the tiniest kitchen ever (but i made it work)

home was being hugged by hills on all sides and the smell of timothy hay, as allergic to it as i am anyway

home was a short drive to the desert in one direction or the mountains & seattle & the sound in the other direction

home was also eerily devoid of permanent residents outside of the people who'd been there forever

home was (as rural small towns often are) sometimes scary as a trans woman, but no more than the city, i'd found out the hard way...

i don't hold any illusions about ellensburg because i lived there most of my young life (and part of my adult life), but it's still home and i still miss it by a heart-wrenching amount

i also miss kirkland but unlike ellensburg it's been gentrified to hell and back over the past 10 years

THAT place isn't home anymore. but i still miss taking walks up & down the railroad tracks (which then became the cross-kirkland corridor, which is now probably a g**gler-exclusive shuttle route by now...ugh) & eating blackberries right off the brambles

idk if you've ever had blackberries so ripe that they practically burst when you touch them, but there's almost nothing better in the world

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