@jk and consequently we don't get much of a chance to change people's perspectives gently.
We kind of expect them to get it right first try or face the wrath of the dog pile, rather than guiding them around to a new way of thinking.
Unsurprisingly, most choose to just not engage in the first place.
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@jk ultimately, we should seriously consider the notion that our culture and expectations may be hostile and alienating to newcomers whose hearts are in the right place, and who are capable of "getting it" with time and care.