looking at the latest hn thread about mastodon and seeing at least a half-dozen people who are essentially saying: "i went on mastodon and the people on there were behaving in a kind and respectful way, and it was too stressful to make myself behave in a kind and respectful way too, so i left"
weirds me out so much when i read stuff like this. like gives me a massive huge "unknowability of the other" feeling
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@jk and consequently we don't get much of a chance to change people's perspectives gently.
We kind of expect them to get it right first try or face the wrath of the dog pile, rather than guiding them around to a new way of thinking.
Unsurprisingly, most choose to just not engage in the first place.