patience, doing up live 🎧🎚📻 @patience@cybre.space

still feeling gobsmacked & overwhelmed by the several unsolicited defences of weirder.earth’s whiteness problem that crawled into my notifications over the weekend, performing some pretty impressive cognitive gymnastics along the way

i then get reminded why so many folks have outright left, having dealt with this crap way more often, way more frequently, and way more severely

so thinking i’ma lay off time spent across all three instances i use, for sake of everything and everyone who don’t need me taking up any more of anything

(if you’re straddling the fence on doing more of the above hot nonsense, don’t bother, i’ll tune you out)

[BOOSTS OK!]

i cant find my last poast about it, so i’ll re-post:

if you have a dead mac laptop that just sits in a closet or box somewhere, send it over my way so i can tinker with it and, if it’s truly le dead, can be used as a donor for other computers

and if you’re in, like, the GO Transit area, and you have a bigger Mac that’s dead and wanna donate it to a trans woman who likes to take apart and fix computers, find me and send over a post (before getting the OK to dm me)

#introductions
[boosts: OK]

[i’m/we’re]
– 91yo trans af old hen, hatched in ’91
– Melungeon & white-coded
– living w/ semi-healed cPTSD & anti-D-managed clinical depression of >35yrs)
– undoc’d immigrant in a settler state
– child-survivor of *clinical* trans conversion therapy in the ’80s
– named plaintiff in MN Sup. Ct ruling that was first anywhere to confront trans folk’s access to washrooms (I lost, sry!)
– ND, on spectrum
– came up w/ stuff like “deadname”, “voicing”, “first/second puberty” & other shit maybe
– mum to Frida, My Amazing Calico
–do floral wifery on brownfields

AND
– music archivist & DJ
– film photog (DSLRs: too much 💲)
– retired bike msgnr, graphic artist & web designer
– committed to destroying whiteness
– communist (anarchism: 🆗)
– urbanist trained by uni & Black womanism
– ardent abt public spacing accessibility/equity, taking back neoliberally-privatized/stolen zones, decolonization & guerrilla removal of hostile architectures
– learning the Talmud, not yet Jewish

📌 pinning this just to be clear:

if you're a mufo reading this and you're seeing yourself needing to flee from the U.S. for whatever reason, there is always room for you in my home, so long as i have a home, even if things are tight

a reminder how, despite being Melungeon, i was born into whiteness & had bestowed upon me a conditional whiteness (irrespective how my surname was “imported” from Angola in 1619),

i’ve benefited substantially & substantively from being placed as white in most of the spaces i’ve navigated — even as there are other evident structural barriers i deal w/ as a neurodivergent queer trans woman w/o status in a settler-colonial nation where i live

it also makes me, in that original sin of the U.S., where i was born & raised, ipso facto a racist,

my own racism, inculcated upon me from an early age, is a thing i’ve been trying to demolish & also to thwart in my peers, pretty much every day for much of the last 30 or so years when i had the privilege (due to my whiteness) to choose to start thinking about & challenging those structures,

i’ll be working to dismantle this for the rest of my life, and i know i’ll never get there

me, with the congtroversial bussy takes

getting that #struggleloaf closer and closer to the oven, as we speak

“what are ya gonna do, michael, sue me? ask mommy and daddy to send me to my room? i happen to be the one in contr…”

damn that time janet ripped off her older brother michael, on her second album, now that was a brilliant flex

i am OK with these numbers

they equate to “machine stability” and i’m down with numbers like this

boat milk

me, to my fractured brain:

makin’ a #struggleloaf today

the mammary glands of the almond tree and the oat tree

yes this is the “patience is 91, this is the hill she’s dying on” take

what a view

it amazes me just often how often folks, namely folks born after 1989, refer to a style or colour palette or aesthetic as “’80s”,

when the style or palette or aesthetic being described as that doesn’t remotely resemble anything which actually was produced during the 1980s

y’all are fucking funny because y’all have no fucking clue, and no amount of consuming media can change that, either

this includes all the anime and mecha and vapourwave you can ingest — no change

borbs you’re uncle

rich people, they’re the only ones who have to deal with customs when declarin’ a mclaren…

te people who call themselves “PhD PhD” as a title on social media comments are highly reliable people, yessirree they are