cephalopod (deprecated) @octopus@cybre.space

applied for a fedi account at weirder.earth

could reasonably take longer for someone to review than cybre.space has until we go into read-only.

sleep apnea mouthpiece costs $3.2k, including a year's worth of followup visits

they last about 5 years?

about ~$60/month for the possibility of rest while sleeping

I've sort of made peace with the fact that I'm a useless, incapable, isolated, unemployed nothing

which is very bad for trying to muster the [something] to change any of it, but the alternative is soaking in despair

I need to call my insurance company, again, to ask for the form they assured me any insurance billing agency would know about & how to get (they don't) so I can start the process of maybe getting a sleep apnea mouthpiece in two months or whatever

kinda shook tbh

dreamed that I was repeating senior year (highschool) & that by around 3rd-4th quarter I had just… stopped doing any kind of homework, studying, showing up for tests. had trouble collecting food during lunch so that by the time I got to the next class (without having eaten, with awkward and heavy backpacks) there weren't any chairs left for me.

dreamed that I had taken a generic software job and was only able to work 6h a day (instead of 8) & told the boss something like, look, the social contract is broken & the written contract says you can fire me any time for no reason, I don't owe you any unwritten stuff like "basic human honesty". I have to work and corps only hire software devs for 40h/weeks and I can't do that, so I'm just going to work 30h/weeks until people catch on and fire me and then I'll do it again somewhere else.

also there was some mmorpg / wheel of time / ATLA shit going on

I should, uh, probably apply to an instance to move this account to

it's still tuesday wtf

approximately none of the descriptions give any clear idea of what the position actually does ("analyze data" "provide insights" "use software" "execute pipelines") which doesn't help a great deal

looking for jobs that would make more use of my mathematics background than just wrb development & there's a lot of "data scientist/engineer/analyst" type jobs, and even a pretty decent number of machine learning type jobs

which I know I could *learn* but I don't have any direct experience in

I looked at some jobs

promised I'd look at jobs today which is most of why I'm still in bed

using "navel-gazing" as a pejorative exposes the speaker's ignorance

it's not an empty synonym for "worthless activity", there's a real practice that it refers to, done for real reasons by real people in real contexts.

the special frustration of doing morale-building exercises when you're clinically depressed

"I find humans in general to be exhausting and alienating. I can communicate and work with them reasonably well, but I'll never truly feel part of the team and sooner or later that matters."

"oh, this two year gap? that's how long it took me to go through my savings from the previous two years of working. I'm pretty frugal so I had to send rent money to a lot of strangers on the internet to get through it all."