gonna start calling the private methods in a class "the secret menu"

some dreams i had last night:
- mugged by tennis players
- failed exam because the questions were too blurry to read
- chased by angry mob. when they caught up to me they continued running straight past me into the distance, with their heads craned back so they could look me in the eye while they jeered at me

hit by my psychic sidekick's psy kick. sike! ick...

colorful claws crudely cut at the casing. currents of caustic cocoonase coalesce and coagulate as they corrode the callous cast encasing the creature.

clumsily, the convalescent cryptid crawls from its cage. cognizant and unconfined, it carefully collects itself.

covertly camouflaged, crouching among the conifers of this cold climate, the coy critter quickly consults the cosmos.

the constellations, a celestial calendar and compass. it calculates that its cousins are currently converging on the confluence of the colony, and careens conclusively into the chaos of the copse.

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the crystalline chrysalis cracks. concealed, a cawing choir cries out in cloying cacophony

a soul fracturing. cracks spread in the ice. with thawing they can be repaired. or is it more beautiful like this?

hello relayed

if the universe is shaped like a donut then it should be called the everything bagel

the scientific name for bison is bison bison bison and the wikipedia page for the plains bison begins with the word bison four times in a row

who i am or what i do, it simply does not matter

drop the bass

video: 70,000 Fish Stocked in Alpine Lake by Helicopter - Wyoming Fish and Game Department
audio: Spitfire - Porter Robinson

web design rant 

please stop simultaneously displaying a modal, banner, and toaster that all say the exact same thing

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web design rant 

it's the VCs, isn't it. you don't need to serve ads effectively to earn revenue as long as your engagement metrics say people are clicking links and your audience is "growing".

just don't tell them your bounce rate or median visit time per page. doesn't matter if your newsletters get automatically filed as spam.

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web design rant 

i don't think ads are even necessarily 100% to blame for this either. surely most ad platforms at least detect if you can see the ad for more than 1 second before counting an "impression". you could serve me more ads if i were able to scroll the screen at all.

maybe i'm giving them too much credit...

but somehow we're at the point where the most annoying web design dark patterns aren't even ads, they're things like mailing lists, polls, banners, and sign-up walls. things that aren't even directly providing revenue.

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web design rant 

so angry about website design right now. why are there so many sites that literally block the entire page with mailing lists, polls, and OTHER articles rather than the one i clicked on to read. on mobile there are like 2 lines of visible text and the other 95% of the page is non-dismissible banners.

like really what is the point of any of this. it's like they're actively trying as hard as possible to prevent me from accessing the service they ostensibly provide. why would you ask about my satisfaction with the website when i've seen it for THREE SECONDS before you completely blocked the page with a poll?

i feel like the only reasonable explanation is design purely through bogus analytical metrics like "cross-site engagement" which are entirely fulfilled by making the user accidentally click things rather than driving any actual "engagement" with the content.

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