Pinned ping

Oh btw I'm on tiktok now, here's me voicing my best post from onhere

Pinned ping

to be frank? not a huge fan of cilantro. and to be bush? i did 9/11

Pinned ping

"An affront to the art world. Im glad its gone"
"Whoa dude its either a vase or two ladies kissing depending on how you look at it"
"Haunting, truly a chilling work"

user feedback about my Ass

Pinned ping
Pinned ping

ive got an ass that wont quit and a dick 3 days til retirement and boy that face is looking like a murder mystery

New type of guy: was really into findom until someone told him it did not in fact mean getting topped by Finnish people

Middle aged pisspunk dude at a con, he's got the steampunk dude mustache but he's otherwise dressed head to toe in yellow, in a slightly dressier outfit but its ripped and patched all over

divide kn the pisspunk community over whether it should be renamed to streampunk or not

letting my nuts hang in fukuyamas front yard as a gentle breeze makes anything attached to a Tree sway gently

say history ended all you want franky, me and your dad's history just keeps getting longer

Show thread

Every time an event of any sort happens, i personally track down Francis fukuyama and suplex him through the nearest table and then default dance

Weird maybe niche medical question 

Ok so im intimately familiar with how to take care of a tattoo while it heals, the actual tattoo is not part of the question im about to ask

The tat i got from a friend 2 weeks ago to the day is healing great. Still peeling a bit but I've been lax on the moisturizer and maybe too enthusiastic with the cleaning, but given my job I can't afford not to take keeping it clean seriously lol (butcher shop/stocking shelves) so im expecting it to still be peeling a bit for another week or 2

The problem is that the last bandage I had covering it left an imprint in the exact shape of the adhesive areas directly above and below the tat, and even a week after removal, the skin in those 2 areas still looks and occasionally feels irritated

Im not worried about infection, to be clear. Its only surface level irritation, and only where the bandage adhesive was (not touching the tat)

Its just that I know for a fact im not allergic to these bandages and have never had this happen before

Retail shit 

Fast food, someone orders a milkshake, you tell em Milkshake Machine Broke, at worst you get Damb Its Like That All The Time and u can go Yeah It Really Is, These Things Are Made Of Rubber Bands And Scrap Metal (they basically are btw)

Meanwhile Retail l. u get a 40 year old white dude asking u where the steak sauce is when its out of stock? Better hope u can negotiate your own release from a hostage situation cause that guy is gonna make it everyone's problem

Show thread

Retail shit 

It's the sheer entitlement of it, for me. I don't even ask where shit is in a store if I can't find it. I just assume they don't have it and go somewhere else that I know where it is if I need it that badly

So its twilight zone levels of bizarre to me that there are people who will insist on making an employee drop what they're doing to find like their fucking specific of snack cake or some shit and then get Red Mad and Nude when they come back letting them know that nope its still not in stock cause that's not how that works asshole

God. At least this type of person isn't all that common bc most people, even me, lack that sheer level of deluded self grandeur. Cause every time I encounter one of these people, they somehow manage to make me miss fast fucking food of all things

Show thread

Retail shit 

And like hon I get it, some people got dietary restrictions, if you're asking for like kosher or gluten free stuff or anything like that, I will offer to go check before you even ask me to, just to be sure.

These people are not who I am talking about. They generally don't even ask anyways

It's the fucking "what do you mean you don't have (product). You just had (product) last week! You must be wrong or stupid, stop what you're doing and check the stockroom for me" people

If you do this, I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that I hope I meet you in a Dennys parking lot some day

Show thread

Retail shit 

Because I promise you, we would like to be wrong about it not being there even more than you would, so that you can fuck off as quickly as possible

Show thread

Retail shit 

I work in a supermarket now, but I've been in jobs that involve customer service for as long as I could work. And until I got this job, I thought the most annoying type of person when it came to customer service was the people that would waste everyone's time, especially yours, Workshopping Their Tight Five on their captive audience of the employee and everyone waiting for them to get on with it

Now though? I will take that person any day any time over the "well did you check in the back" person. Cause anyone with the audacity to tell you to look for the specific thing they need in the stockroom, instead of continuing to do your actual job, after you already said its not in stock, is damn near guaranteed to make a Huge Fucking Deal of it when you come back and tell them that it's not any more in stock than it was when they asked, even if you're being kind and helpful about it

Like what is the mindset here. Do you think the market employees are holding out on you or some shit

Certified peon

365000000000 days an eon

Wet ass pussy take that pull out game beyond

Folks this one is Bad 

you know what they say about big feet...... tasty toes 🥺 let me get a little sssssuckle, daddy

My favorite thing to do is log on and violently discourage people from ever allowing me to continue a bit past the first post

hey babe that sex was epic and based, but I have to get back to telling you about how cringe it is that flash games aren't a thing anymore

we finally did it. we've jokerfied gargron

We did it reddit!

Show thread

"if I say 'c++ to be injected into fedi users veins via their phone screens' nobody panics cause its part of the plan..... but I change the word toot to post, everyone loses their minds!"

-Eugen "website boy" Mastodon

Alc, nicotine, im a huge dumbass 

So I took a swig of rum while I was posting and went to chase it but my muscle memory immediately just took a huge rip of my vape cause it was still in my hand and there was a fucking air bubble on the wick and now I am Dying dude

Gentlethems, its been an honor posting with you all. Play me out with lil nas x montero

Show older

cybrespace: the social hub of the information superhighway jack in to the mastodon fediverse today and surf the dataflow through our cybrepunk, slightly glitchy web portal support us on patreon or liberapay!