After 30 minutes reading articles about how to potty train a stubborn 3 year old, I've decided that no one on the internet knows what they're talking about.

I feel like by far the most annoying thing about Mastodon is that the exact same results come up if you google "funniest Mastodon accounts" or "popular Mastodon instances" or "most interesting Mastodon servers", etc.

Curation of the fediverse is kind of terrible

Why are likes/favorites here called "florps"? Is it a Futurama reference?

Serious question that no one has answered well yet:

What is the reason to join one Mastodon instance over another? Is it literally just the rules/exclusions of each server?

I thought it was a matter of the "local" feed, but I've been advised to not bother with that and follow hashtags instead. What's the deal?

My sister keeps saying "Jump jump" to my son and my internet-broken brain keeps shouting at me:

I don’t know when I last watched but damn these people are bad interviewers. It’s literally nothing but leading questions and giving the subjects the answers they want to hear.

OK @reddit , you win. I have been reminded how terrible humans can be to each other for no reason. I'll go back to being a silent reader.

Gboard autocorrect on whenever I try to swipe-type "Cincinnati" is absolutely bonkers. I've gotten suggestions anywhere from "Chocolate" to (rude): 

cocksucker. Almost typed that to a work associate!

Any security researchers out there have horror stories about vulnerability disclosure you'd like to share (even anonymously)? I'm working on a story and I'd love to hear. DM me and I'll give you secure chat info.

I've decided that mastodon.technology will only be for viewing the local timeline and finding people to follow.

Still not sure if my main home will be here or @octodo.social. Kind of thinking I'll cross-post on both for a while

Mastodon has a specific dialect that I don't quite understand yet. There's some grammar to the content warnings and a way to use it for jokes that hasn't connected in my brain yet.

Fuck anywhere without changing tables in the men's rooms. Double fuck anywhere without a changing table in a unisex bathroom. And specifically fuck the AC Marriott in downtown Cincinnati

‪Finally got around to beating . Weird to end the series with Nate telling his daughter about being a mass murderer. ‬

Just saw a man checking out at the supermarket at 930am with a cart filled to the brim with Coke and whole milk.

I have many questions.

The @defcon website has an SSL failure and the @essvote press line has gone to voicemail all morning. What a great day to be covering the @VotingVillageDC election security report...

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