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Customs agent stops me and pulls an apple out of my luggage.

"What is this?" he demands.

"Fruit," I answer innocently. "You must respect it."

He holds it out to a uniformed dog, who growls. Rolling his eyes, he takes out a knife and cuts the fruit open.

Within the fruit is a small, plastic bag.

Within the bag is another, smaller apple.

"Very funny," he spits as he begins cutting into that second apple.

He stops.

A powerful, sweet smell is emanating from everywhere at once.

He looks back at me, but I am no longer there.

Nervously, he cuts into the apple. As this happens, a gigantic steel beam slices through the roof.

He drops the apple in shock, and it splits in half upon hitting the ground. The roof, likewise, is peeled back to reveal me, now a giant holding a big knife.

"How does it feel?" I ask, just as innocently, although my booming voice can no longer convey emotion in a comprehensible manner.

Nervously, he looks down at the apple he dropped. Inside it, there's a small person.

It is him.

The small customs agent inside the apple holds out a familiar, foil-covered pouch with a plastic straw glued to the side.

It is filled with some manner of liquid.

With horror, he realizes what he has done.

This apple had been destined to be made into Caprisun, and he Disrespected the Pouch.

@minervissa This post made my brain hurt and then gave me nostalgia. I love it.

@OrchidMantis9 I'll have more the next time I find myself sitting naked on the bathroom floor with the shower running behind me and my laptop in front of me. Not sure how that situation comes about but there's always something like this in my head when it does.

Yes, there are people out there who randomly wake up naked on the bathroom floor with a laptop and a running shower. We exist. No, I don't know anything else.

@minervissa @stellakarasu I will ask Eugen to remove that from Mastodon next time.

And lain to remove it from Pleroma

and syoliu (idk) to remove it from Misskey.

@minervissa Haha, I'm gonna meet these people at the airport today so this is perfect! ^__^

@minervissa and they say activitypub isn't a good supplement for tumblr, where else could i get content like this

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