Pinned ping
Pinned ping

Everything I make probably sucks but I post it anyway because a lot of famous artists thought their work sucked and I might be like them and secretly produce things other humans enjoy.

And at the end of the day, that's what I want. I want my book to give people a break from reality.

It will be 100% free, distributed online.

When it's done, I'll compile the chapters and host them as .pdf and .epub, free to download. Typesetting – both print and digital – is my one true interest.

Pinned ping
Pinned ping
Pinned ping

Error 502: "Yeah I do all my testing on the production server how'd you know?"

oh wow it's already 2021 I should probably do something productive

I'm also a duchess, incidentally. My dwarves have made several artifacts, three of which are adamantine weapons and one of which is a wooden bow.

They also made the world's finest pair of silk trousers for some reason.

For the final site, whichever one it is, I shall switch to adventure mode and raise my zombie army, then march into battle with these Three Treasures and the Great Bow... I'd bring the Pants of the Empress, but they're too small for my human proportions so I hung them on the wall in the dwarves' mead hall for them all to admire.

The mead hall, interestingly enough, is named The Boulders of Granite, so yeah

Show thread

But now only four sites remain. Three are demon fortresses, one is _elves_. Yes, the elves refused to surrender and have made it into the final round of waves. I shall replenish my units, and the next wave shall be 80 dwarves.

Tune in next time to see if they make it to the final 3 of Dwarf Fortress: Battle Royale!

Show thread

Update: sent 70 more at the hamlet. Took two months in game time, despite the hamlet being a day's walk away.

They fought to the last human, and killed all but one of my dwarves.

I may have "won", but even with superior numbers and equipment, that battle came down to a coin flip of "who will bleed out first?"

And so the human town of Confinemined has my weary respect, and that battle shall be considered a draw. I will ensure it is sung about for ages.

Show thread

I can understand 100 dwarves failing to take a demon's fortress, but a hamlet of 20 humans is currently repelling and/or capturing everyone I throw at it.

If they become legendary warriors and take back every site I've conquered, then defeat me in an epic battle, I'd be very happy and proud.

Show thread

Anyway my fortress needs more hubris so I'm building a tower of babel too. Here's my progress so far:

Show thread

I should probably clarify: "my arms are getting tired" isn't a thing this demon would say. It had tentacles, not arms.

Also, it wasn't beheaded. Apparently it had no head to begin with. They hacked it to pieces. Peacefully.

Show thread

So apparently the fastest, easiest way to take over the world is to just ask nicely???

Show thread

*sends an army to conquer some goblins*

Demon: *kills them*

*sends two armies*

Demon: *kills them*

*sends THREE armies*

Demon: seriously bro stop already my arm is getting tired

*sends two dwarves to demand unconditional surrender*

Demon, with like 200 goblins in its army still: yeah sure the fort's yours now *lays down weapons and gets beheaded*

Goblins: this is fine. We're dwarves now.

Show thread

Also pumping lava above said vault in case I ever need to pull a lever and incinerate everything inside. Insurance, y'know? I'm not the only necromancer.

Perhaps this is why most villains include self-destruct buttons on their superweapons!

Show thread
Show older
Cybrespace

cybrespace: the social hub of the information superhighway jack in to the mastodon fediverse today and surf the dataflow through our cybrepunk, slightly glitchy web portal support us on patreon or liberapay!