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Sometime next month I'm moving to misskey because website boy says cats are too distracting

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This is peak comedy. This is what all other comedy aspires to be. This is the greatest video ever made.

youtube.com/watch?v=xBayrOBgjv

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Estrogen is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.

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I don't know what cohost is and i don't care so stop asking me about it

does the github octocat count as a tentacle monster

If CSS is Turing complete, I suggest we start deprecating JavaScript.

help wanted: cleric looking for artificer to help make semi-legal mace alternative in society dominated by autocrossbows

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self-defense rant, nerd moment 

so now I want to know how small I can make a telescopic baton before the functionality is impaired

for $40 I got one that's solid as a rock and it's just 3 pieces of metal with rubber on the biggest piece and a spring inside

I want to make one of similar length but pocket-sized

maybe even phone-sized

perhaps pepper-spray-sized

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self-defense rant 

and the only fuckers who are allowed to carry batons don't even use them because guns

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self-defense rant 

I want to be responsible and safe and society is like "fuck you here's a gun"

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self-defense rant 

I own three main weapons currently:

- A gun
- A knife
- A police baton

The gun is a fucking gun. It will kill people. It will kill people even if I don't want to kill them and just want to make them stop assaulting me. (maybe they're obviously drunk or impaired and need to be restrained for both of our safety?)

It looks normal to carry it in public though. Not allowed in some places.

The knife is convenient. I can stab someone. I can get beat up by someone who was just stabbed. Now I'm going to the hospital with them. Hahaha no.

This is supposed to be the correct option.

The baton is non-lethal, easy to use, and gets the point across. I feel safest with it. If someone stole it from me, I could disarm them with my magical gay kung fu. It is simply the logical, ethical option.

It is not allowed on the street here. It is considered tactical dork shit. The actual tactical dorks will laugh at me. The cops will think I stole it.

It isn't fair.

really though, The Purge gets a lot less scary when you remember most of its proponents are over 300 pounds

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My rant started with "buy a gun but save a bullet to shoot me because I suck" but now it's ending with "lmao some of these pigs are too fat for their own bulletproof vests" and now I'm much less depressed thank you everyone I'll go to bed now

@minervissa also, less likely to overpenetrate and hurt a bystander or a neighbor. Good shit

Learning how to use the tools and tactics of a barbarian in order to defend against one is called survival. It is a necessary evil. The difference between a necessary evil and an unnecessary evil is when/where the behavior stops.

Know your enemy. Understand that your enemy is just as human as you are. See the dangers of closed minds and cold hearts. Learn from these mistakes, protect yourself from their effects, do what you can to limit their impacts, and help prevent them from happening again.

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"But hunting"

Killing another creature for sustenance is just as barbaric. We've had agricultural capabilities for millennia; it's the only thing separating us from other animals.

Taking. Lives. Is. Barbaric.

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A gun is an instrument of war. A tool for barbarians to kill.

Use it against them, but do not become them.

Use it to scare them, to defend against them, to meet them and overcome them, but not to copy them.

Do not rely upon violence as a solution in and of itself. In your hands, it must merely be a means to an end.

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Video games lied. Don't go for the head.

Aim for the biggest body part (beer gut) and blast 'em until they fall over or run, and then get out of there.

Golden rule: don't hunt the assholes. If you find yourself at war with christofascists, make it obvious to bystanders that they're the bad guys. Shoot to give yourself a chance to retreat, then flee to canada or wherever.

Canada sucks too apparently, but they'd love to take you in if it means they get to feel smug and superior about it. Being better than america is, like, their favorite pastime. It's really quite sad.

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Another cool gun fact: getting shot while wearing kevlar _hurts_!

Force is mass times velocity and a bullet is moving faster than the speed of sound. It may not be going through you, but it's gonna be like getting kicked. By a horse. Expect quite a few of the Gravy Seals to retreat the moment they learn this.

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You don't need to aim for the armored ones. Just the fat bigots who haven't left their patrol cars since they passed the physical back in '02 and think they're The Punisher here to deliver God's Fury upon all the homosexuals and need boomerangs to put their belts on in the morning. They don't make kevlar that big, and hollow points have quite a noticeable effect that will make their friends hesitate.

Also, the actual humans may just quit on the spot or even turn on the pigs if ordered to exterminate you just for existing, so it's not as hopeless as you think.

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Hey queers, Aunt Tom here with some advice: hollow points are so scary to pigs that the Hague banned them and America is one of the only places left that are barbaric enough to make them. Get some, and make sure the pigs know you have them.

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