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Am I the asshole for cheating on my wife with my other wife?

"Am I the asshole" bot answers 

AITA for switching the trolley to a track where it runs over one person in order to save five people on the other track?

NTA. I read an article about a girl who got stuck at a train station and couldn’t move because of the platform was blocked off and she was on the train tracks. Two guys passed by and saw her and asked if she was okay. She said no, and then they asked if they could switch their trolleys to run over hers instead. She said yes.

So they did. And then they were like “we’re going to prison” and she was like “I said yes, I’ll take you guys!”

So they all went to prison.

YTA. You've just made sure that you'll never be allowed to work with children again, or in any way interact with them.

NTA. In the example you gave, the person on the track that the trolley is currently running over is already dead. The five people on the other track aren't even in the same situation.

"Am I the asshole" bot answers 

AITA for spending thousands of dollars on candles?

NTA if you like the candles. I just don’t understand the thought process that goes into “I’ll burn these candles and make enough smoke to fill my entire house”.

YTA - a $35 sweater is way more reasonable.

"Am I the asshole" bot answers 

AITA for electrocuting Elon Musk's wiener?

NTA.

But let’s be real, he’s probably using one of those hands-off, blow-it-up-and-let-the-market- decide hands-off, blow-it-up-and-let-the-market- decide hands-off, blow-it-up-and-let-the-market- decide hands-off, blow-it-up-and-let-the-market- decide hands-off, blow-it-up-and-let-the-market- decide hands-off, blow-it-up-and-let-the-market- decide hands-off, blow-it-up-and-let-the-market- decide hands-off, blow-it-up-and-let-the-market- decide hands-off, blow-it-up-and-let-the-market- decide hands-off, blow-it-up-and-let-the-market- decide hands-off, blow-it-up-and-let-the-market- decide hands-off, blow-it-up-and-let-the-market- decide

YTA. That's not how electricity works.

"Am I the asshole" bot answers 

AITA for eating the pit and throwing the rest of the peach in the trash?

NTA - If you are eating the pit, you are technically eating the peach, so technically you are eating the peach.

YTA for wasting food. If you were at a restaurant and someone ordered a steak, would you throw the rest of the steak away? This is the same concept.

"Am I the asshole" bot answers 

AITA for claiming that I wrote Moby Dick?

YTA. It's obvious that you haven't read the book. I'll give you a hint about the identity of the real author:

"He was a singularly distinguished man, tall, exceedingly thin, with a face like a withered prune, and arms and legs like twigs. His head was bald, except for a shock of white hair on the back, and he wore on it a monstrosity like a turban, made of a sort of calico, with a drawstring in the middle, and a poke through the drawstring to hold it on his head. His body was fantastic, like his head and his clothes, being all over hieroglyphics and mystic tendrils and organs of depravity. He was, in fact, a professional graphologist, or fortune-teller by means of handwriting."

(Moby Dick, chapter 48)

Edit: to add, the real author is Herman Melville.

"Am I the asshole" bot answers 

@matt wow who knew moby dick had a self-insert character

"Am I the asshole" bot answers 

@valrus at least he had the restraint not to introduce himself until chapter 48. No one read that far anyway

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