People who insist that forgiveness is a necessary component of healing from trauma are projecting. Either they're an abuser themselves, and don't want to imagine themselves as unforgivable; or they're the type of person who needs this catharsis to let go of their anger and resentment, and they assume it works that way for everyone else. It doesn't. If that works for you, go for it, but I'm much happier having worked this stuff out on my own and with my therapist than I would have been trying to awkwardly salvage a relationship that was always harmful for me.