matt bluelander 🏴 @matt@cybre.space

It's a lighthearted fantasy adventure called "Tessa Tomble and the Sunken Dowry". It's about a group of friends at a wizard school who hatch a scheme. You can read it on my website for free https://www.lander.blue/wiki/Tessa_Tomble_and_the_Sunken_Dowry or pay what you want to download the ~20 page ebook on my itch.io page https://bluelander.itch.io/tessa-tomble

Just learned about Firefox ESR (extended support release.) https://www.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/enterprise/ It's good! Much faster than the chromium browser I was using, and hopefully it won't get constantly fucked with the way firefox classic does

I haven't really tried Skyrim since it came out and I bounced off

I thought I'd give it another shot but, well, this happened (contains strobing/flashing)

House centipedes are visually my least favorite bugs. They're gross horrible alien monsters. But I take comfort in the fact that they're rare and solitary. They only show up in your home occasionally, and it's always just one. They don't swarm.

Sea monkeys are like aquatic house centipedes except there's a fucking billion of them

Oh my god, you know "sea monkeys", those freeze-dried brine shrimp they've sold as a novelty to kids since the 50s? I always imagined them as barely visible specks, because they start out that way and most kids lose interest before they get bigger

But if you manage to keep them alive, they do get bigger, and they're uniquely grotesque. One of the worst life forms I've ever seen. I can't stop imagining horror movie scenarios https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvMxoZVJDkM

Never keeping the same address would make my life unfathomably more complicated

Oh thank god, people aren't actually putting gravy on spaghetti. Some people decided to call tomato sauce "gravy", I presume because they're conflict junkies who needed something new to start internet fights about

That's silly, but I thought an actual food felony was in progress

"Sauce or gravy? The debate at the heart of the Italian-American spaghetti dinner"

............what

I looked up the guy playing Mario and he sure don't look Italian to me. He's not even from Brooklyn 🚮

The Mario movie isn't even written by Miyamoto? I guess they'll just make a movie out of any rando's fanfic these days

Any ol' Morricone

Microsoft's almost got this dual-screen thing figured out. They just need to make the bottom screen narrower so they can add some buttons on either side, then make it resistive so you can use a normal stylus that conveniently fits inside the device. Then they'd really have something

I wish I had some of those nice smooth glass beads (the kind we used to use as counters in MtG) and two sturdy little hardwood bowls, so I could put some number of the beads in one bowl and move it to the other with a satisfying clunk every time I did something. Say I wanted to do ten of something; I'd put 10 of the beads in the bowl on the left, watch the bowl on the right get ever fuller, until finally I drop the last bead in, satisfied with the concrete visual and tactile evidence of achieving my goal

Guess I'll continue not doing things

They tried to press charges for that time they caught me drinking during a tour of a famous US monument, but it was past the statute of limitations for statue of liberty libations

Ah, here we go... the good shit

Rewatching some of the classic video essays

Why didn't Dr. Who just ask the eagles to drop Hitler into the volcano

If you think you might not be able to kill baby Hitler when you go back in time, I get it. It's hard to kill a baby, even if you do know it's Hitler. So make sure you have a plan to save Archduke Ferdinand just in case

The now-adult children of members of the band Korn should start a band called Children of the Korn