matt 🏴 @matt@cybre.space

What if there was a law that said everything on TV has to appear exactly as big as it would be in real life? You could only watch shows about raccoons having tea, and I think that's beautiful

Your computer's transformer is located in the michael bay

Do you know why they call them serial ports? Because they're grrrrrreat!

The experience curve is geometric or whatever so it took me 40,000 XP to get to level 13 and it would have taken me another 40,000 to get to level 14

1. Suck my ass
2. Touch a damn dick

I consider the game finished. I have no idea how long I had to go until level 14, but I had been level 13 for a very long time. I'm not going to wander around the levels I've already explored for hours killing whatever monsters happen to spawn until the invisible XP counter eventually ticks over to 14. I got like 20 major consultations from the oracle and none of them told me what I was supposed to be doing. Fuck em.

Well, I never thought I'd say this, but I ran out of stuff to do. I cleared out the mines and made it to the bottom of the main dungeon and I *still* wasn't high enough level to do the quest. I looked it up and I needed one more. I was level 13, I had to be level 14. So I wandered around killing all the shopkeepers, watch captains, etc. in minetown. I finally died because I tried attacking a priestess of Odin, and Odin himself came down from on high to smite me. Still level 13.

Downloaded a Winamp plugin from 2006 and it still works with the most recent version from 2018. Solid program

Just tanked a nethack run because instead of pressing e y (the key combination you press hundreds of times in a game to eat the corpse you're currently standing on - e to eat, y to confirm) my hand was accidentally one column of keys to the left, so I pressed w t (w to wield, and t corresponded to an item in my inventory that just happened to be a cursed crossbow)

We're back: a cybresaur story

Breaking: with consequences of Brexit looming on the horizon, credit rating agency Standard & Poor's has downgraded Great Britain to merely Okay Britain

How do I have 21 notifications on twitch if I'm not even logged in. What are they notifying me of

To transfer data to and from your device, simply connect it via the included cable to one of the rectangular PCI (personal computer interface) ports

I would actually really like a laptop with a keyboard I can type on because it doesn't have a giant chin

I'd be using a wireless mouse, so the trackpad is of no concern to me

Chef at 3-star restaurant: the crisp texture imparted by the malliard reaction gives the dish a certain frisson that contrasts well with the other...

Me: umyum big cronch. Give. more cronch

Get ready for procedurally generated grandmas. I am not at liberty to discuss the procedure at this time.

Saw this powerful hex on the way to work today

Made a dish of Skipjack tuna, rolled oats, and ring-shaped pasta. I call it Bonito Museli-ni