matt BOO!-lander 🏴 @matt@cybre.space

I think I need to accept that the only things I like are 2D platformers and turn-based RPGs

"You mean those are the only types of games you like?"

You heard me

If you're lucky enough to plug a buffalo ghost, yer family's got vittles from here to Fort Kearney. Shame about the curse, but some folk say it ain't a sight worse'n starvin'

The nice thing about hunting ghosts is that your wagon can carry an unlimited amount of ghost meat

I think standing is the worst thing. Sitting is good, walking is good; standing combines the worst aspects of both. "I have to keep myself upright but I'm not going anywhere? What's this horseshit?"

I'd play a lot more RPGmaker games if they had display options besides "a postage stamp-sized window" and "a blurry mess"

Some people like their marxed potatoes to have a totally smooth consistency, no chewy bits or pieces of skin in there, just white and uniform. Me, I'm more into the lumpen

I saw a little fishnet bag of colorful glass beads in someone's crafting supplies and it really made me wanna play Magic:TG again

Flat earth theory confirmed

In fourteen hundred and ninety-two, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. With seven ships he voyaged west; Nina, Pinta, and the rest. Every ship had seven sacks. Every sack had seven cats. E

An aye for an aye makes the whole world cap'n

Your refrigerator stopped working and all your food went bad? Sorry, refrigerator 98 is no longer supported. Pay us $100 for refrigerator XP and you should be good

It's the height of absurdity that anyone'd attempt to charge money for a computer operating system

I have an idea, let's go into business selling microwaves, then once people buy those, sell them the microwave program for "apply heat to food"

(points and hoots) Hundo rando! Hundo rando!

The startup sequence for the NES M82 sounds like some lost Metroid music https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WEtshsAZdw

The Intel Core 1 Mono

The bare minimum standard for game moderation is that if you type or paste the N-word or the F-slur somewhere other players can see it, it should immediately kick that player out of the game and ban their account. Yes people will figure out ways around it using character substitution or whatever, but this would at the very least take care of the lowest low-hanging fruit.

I don't know what "Among Us" is, but I looked at exactly one (1) vod to try to figure it out and saw racial slurs. It seems like a game you need to know 9 other people to play if you don't want to look at racial slurs. Oh well 🤷

Okay, this version's a little more interesting. Ended up losing by drawing too much coal looking for a fireball to fight the queen of hearts. Ended with 77/97 points (I had the ace of diamonds, which is worth 13. It's the only ace that's worth points, although all of its wild properties still apply, so I could have used it to slay the dragon, but I had enough coal in my hand that I doubt I would have found enough additional diamonds to make up for it)

I mean, of course it's possible to lose instantaneously by having an opening hand of all spades, or three face clubs; it just might be vanishingly unlikely. I'll try the "dragon fight" variant

Well, the first game of Dragon's Hoard I ever played and I got a perfect game. I collected all the diamonds. It might not be possible to lose

I realized I didn't say what happens if the top card of the exploration deck is a heart. I was treating it as a free turn, just set it aside and move on. Maybe it should be another dragon you have to fight to progress by drawing until you can discard enough heart points to exceed the number on the card.