matt bluelander 🏴 @matt@cybre.space

I don't believe in heliocentrism, so when I do a spit roast, I make the fire revolve around the food. Just like God intended

How do you put together a convincing Ada Lovelace costume on no budget? Well, she loved lace, right? Yeah, just give her a bunch of lace

Dystopia is when you have gray walls and exposed wires and/or pipes. The grayer and more pipewiry, the more dystopian it is

"Washington, Douglass Commonwealth"

Douglassippi

Chicagoans claim to be offended at the idea of putting ketchup on a hot dog, even though a chicago dog has a lot of vinegar and tomatoes on it. I have bad news for them about what ketchup is

The name of every bank sounds fake. Like "city bank"? Wow of all the cities in the world, mine is the one with a bank in it, what are the odds 🙄

Come on Windows, it's the two thousands, you seriously don't have post-rock title support yet

Used it to make a lil' BRB screen when I have to step away from my Zelda stream for a mo

Added this illustration from the original Legend of Zelda manual to this screenshot from Breath of the Wild. It just felt right

Okay, you had me convinced until the end, but now I feel like you just work for Sharpie http://www.digitalfaq.com/forum/myths/3175-sharpie-markers-safe.html

The reply icon is a pawn capturing a piece. The boost icon is a knight moving back and forth. The favorite icon is a checkmate. The bookmark icon is the deposed king. The ellipsis is your loss for words after your crushing defeat.

I was looking up videos of the "mail time" segment from Blue's Clues because I was trying to remember how it goes (does every episode include both the "here's the mail" song AND the "we just got a letter" song? Seems a little excessive but I'm on board) and the contents of this letter, uh, caught me off-guard https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQNZVWhcFnE

What do you mean you don't like swans? Come on, get down with the cygnus

I was going to make a joke about inventing a new candied cheese snack by using a piece of candyfloss to slice cheese but then I looked up what candyfloss is and I guess it's just another word for cotton candy. It's not like dental floss. And slicing cheese with floss made of candy is kind of a shaky premise to begin with. I'm starting to worry this joke just isn't going to work out and I'll look silly by posting about it at all

Concept: standalone HTML viewer but it doesn't connect to the internet. It can't actually view websites. It's just for viewing hypertext documents that you've saved to your local disk

You know how one of the flavors Pocky comes in is chocolate? Well I like to call it "choccy pocky". I invented that but feel free to use it (◡‿◡✿)

It's very weird that the story about PUBG is that it "lost" to Fortnite when it's the 5th best-selling video game of all time

Just above Super Mario Bros. Mario is #6