matt 🏴 @matt@cybre.space

Only Jimmy Carter’s comedy breakdancing can save us now

I think it's a stockade built for two. Very romantic~

8-character passwords can now be brute-forced by computers that can try all 6 quadrillion permutations in 2 and a half hours, but really, any good password system should lock the user out after the first quadrillion guesses. By the second quadrillion, it's probably safe to assume that it's not a legitimate login attempt.

"It turns out that ninjas were effective in the era prior to handguns" - Jeff Gerstmann

We have to break the second sound barrier

Something about the motion in this Away: Journey to the Unexpected game feels a little nauseating to me, which is surprising because I've never felt motion-sick from a game. It's like everything has some weird fish-eye distortion on it or something. It reminds me of being drunk, like the perspective is lagging behind the movement of the virtual head. Ugh.

This itch.io bundle is rad. Fortune 499 is delightful and I've been meaning to get Minit. Those two + 4 other games for $10 https://itch.io/b/291/the-itchio-midwinter-selects-bundle

Oh, the extra challenge is literally just the one boss that almost killed me :/ The lore book made it sound like there was a lot more stuff after that, but it turns out that all the entries I hadn't found were just potential effects of the scroll with a random effect: use the chance scroll with X in your inventory and there's a chance it'll turn into Y. Stuff no one will ever see because it's a die roll on top of a die roll. Ah well, still a good game.

When I was a kid, I had this book about Apple 2 programming for kids, with this section about games the authors enjoyed. One of them was for a game I didn't have and never heard of called "The Bilestoad". I was skeptical. I knew the limitations of the computer, and a full-on two-player fighting game with limb targeting seemed like a game that couldn't possibly exist on the Apple 2.

And... it doesn't. What DOES exist is this incredible, inscrutable psychedelic screen vomit https://youtu.be/I3q2j7LpFb0?t=110

Han Rollo
Darth Malt
Yoda Soda
Boba Tea Fett
Almond Joy Kenobi
Mars Bar Kan(dy)ata
Salacious Crumb Cake
Luke Piescoffer
Jabba the Hubba Bubba
Bazooka Poe Dameron
The Empire Snacks Back
Attack of the Scones
Lando Cal-Twix-ian
Amidala Nom-berry
C-3musketeers-PO
Charleston Chewbacca

salted malt balts

I wonder when and why this happened. I've always felt this way but I think I used to be able to tolerate it. It annoyed me but it didn't bother me to the same degree.

It doesn't happen much outside of video games. Occasionally a song will be repetitive enough to bother me and I'll skip it, but it's rare. Car alarms, definitely, but I usually have headphones on so I don't hear them. I'm glad I have the tools to help me cope with this stuff.

I wish I had a better way to describe how music changes in JRPGS with random battles make me feel. The slow, regular, repetitive loop of walking around music->battle music->victory music is almost unbearable to me. It's like a low-grade anxiety attack, it feels suffocating.

Same for any repetitive, regular sound effect in a game: an alarm, the low health beep in Zelda, incidental character dialogue that repeats ad nauseam.

JRPG music is noteworthy because I play a lot of them, though

My favorite video game power fantasy is having technology that allows you to vocally communicate with multiple people over long distances with nearly no latency, no drop-outs or interference or distortion, and be able to understand each other perfectly

We had this technology once. It was called "the telephone". Too bad no one will ever know what that's like going forward

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Love is a sour
Serrate Bleeder

I am a radio-controlled professional amateur

I was hoping someone would ask me "why would the woodpecker need to type the word woodpecker" so I could reply "so it could log in to its computer"