hrt, dysphoria
looking at my labs confirms the suspicions I've had for months that my T is not where I want it to be. it is literally actually 10 times the amount I had in July. i feel like my body is moving against me, like im watching it turn into something i don't like anymore, and it has me scared to do things like work out or eat for fear of where the fat and muscle will go. this feeling of uncontrollably rotting from the inside out is much more potent than it was before i transitioned. maybe because my body has been exactly what i want for so long?
im bi and trans and i love my wife. UI/UX designer with Rebble