i had a colo mini-tower with a Radeon HD 4850 in it for ~4 years (semi-modern card at the time) and never made a single damned use out of that video card.

how can i suck so badly.

i still keep thinking i want to be able to have a self-hosted gaming cloud, to be able to invite others in to my games, via some virtualized (/ virtualized-like) gaming.

my searching for a nkn-shit thin monitor a night or two ago is boiling into seething anger, at the rancid incompetence of capitalism to drive product. apple alone steps us forward? fuck us, fuck this.

team purple just demanded complete feasance to the corporate lord. what a turd to drop.

i didn't give powerdns a zone when i ran create-zone, and alas, there's just so much bad terrible repeat information for idiots, using endless guis and toolkits, or descriptions of how to set up replication, endless flak making it hard to find the basic, straightforward dns info i need to set up a nameserver. i forget soa record order. airwaves taken over by lofi things far off from seeing & doing for oneself.

the amount of solarpunk that is industrial temperature range tolerant is way too low

damnit color support in terminals is such a stupid shit show, just so so so so so bad.

evidently the terminfo database guy refuses to even consider adding support, so everyone has to hack up their own shitty incompatible ways?

and like, 99% of the advice given is, according to tmux authors, vastly deeply wrong & incorrect. tmux has it's own shit weird situation it creates.

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avoiding power, kool aid 

shout out to this wonderful post in this wonderful thread,

> sometimes I wish it'd be ok to just be a cog for a while


the kool aid's saccharine flavor is not always received so sweetly.

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avoiding power 

talking about workers not wanting to be promoted the other day. i have two critical analysis that both scare me:

1. america is 40-50+ years in to being anti-big company, anti mega-corp. the boomers revolt, "think for yourself" & the ongoing iconization of the rebel/outsider figure make the good people pre-disposed to avoid power.

2. many workers see & understand that middle managers have very little power, yet must act as insiders, have to play the game. the court politics / earning recognition system alone suck, & many workers already bear questions & doubts about the vision / comprehension of the corporate heirarchy. working your way up a semi-irrational, socially driven system seems, sometimes, like it requires sacrificing the good parts, & perhaps even a well adjusted view on things.

huge sympathies all around. but it makes me scared that the well adjusted all avoid power.

small pieces loosely coupled, or ossify and die 

someone asking for an open source camera-based security "solution," and to me, that's how you fuck up open source: "solutions". you pretend like you'll fix everything for all time for everyone, like you've perfectly encapsulated the ideal problem statement & divined out some perfect outcome.

that's not open source software: only commercial software is that fucking stupid & lacking in humility.

yet another rant,

it'll be interesting to see how tides shift as muni ISPs start to show up & ask to get transport, ask to get put on the net.

one thing the big commercial players have sorted very well among themselves is carrier/transport systems, it seems like. many have their own pretty extensive transport, they have other relationships. it'll be interesting to see how difficult it is for municipalities to get internet connections, as they start setting up their own networks.

thinking about this in the context of, for example, NY's People's Choice Communications,

new laptop scripts remote riddles 

we have some dev automation (that i wrote for myself, that was rapidly promoted to being the official solution, should have planned for that better) & every time something doesn't work people spend hours hacking around & avoiding the problem.

they get by it. they move on. but something else down the line breaks, and then i get a bug report on that. and i have to place murder-mystery to see how they've wrecked & ignored & broken the things that were already supposed to have happened that they've hacked up.

yet another new laptop week. please. we are so close to these scripts working. but ya'll keep finding ridiculous ways to make sure stuff sucks & doesn't work. which is my fault, that i haven't pre-conceived all the weird shit in the universe that might be on an allegedly fresh macbook. but i'm also so tired of this, & tired of the poor communication, of skipped steps, of feeling alone on the other end of these puzzles.

acquiring more junk 

one ridiculous expensive purchase made (hard drives).

part of me wants to finish "ripping the band aid off" & get the ridiculous expensive printer i've been eyeing too. probably about to buy an even more expensive lens (but significantly less bad than what i had been about to buy).

have been making some other slightly luxurious purchases (but not nearly of such magnitude). it's only general conservativeness & thrifty habits that hold me back, feeling like i'm going a little not-forwards on a downpayment towards a house. but wow, the length of time i've been thinking after this junk.

drops in the bucket, but that's what i've got to keep doing. i'd been quite good for a couple months now. maybe i can try to keep my food budget a little more under a bit more control for a while as penance? thinking out-loud.

still sort of in shock i ordered those hard drives. took un-thinking to do it.

decentralized lunacy 

the Seagate Exos X16 16TB drive i've had my eye on has gone from $320 -> $380, and a bunch of places are out of stock. Amazon price is way higher right now.

it's a 2 year old hard drive at this point, and i feel like i could hold off. but i am indeed quite very much running out of space. this could all blow over,

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decentralized lunacy 

damnit Bram. Bram Cohen of bittorrent fame is apparently potentially to blame for this, with his new Chia cryptocurrency.

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apparently i was off by a bunch of days. still waiting for the 11-20mm. i don't want to get cold feet before then, but i'm starting to get nervous i'll end up having way way less of a lens than the stellar, loved GM (high grade) 16-35mm. the tamron is wide angle only, a different lens, but given that i have the G (mid-grade) 24-105mm, i'll have the range pretty well covered, if not quite at the GM's stunning quality levels.

i also am kind of hella impressed by the 100-500mm on paper, but no, i probably will not go spend a grand on that. even though i've been trying to spend $300 on the probably significantly less good 200-600mm equivalent MFT panasonic lens. it, at least, would be somewhat managable size, versus this bad boy, but would not not be excellent to have an all purpose super-telephoto zoom?

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paying ~$100 mo for car insurance is so stupid, i drive so so little. i like being able to go on trips but i drive less than once a month, what the frak. i'm probably way overpaying but even at half the price it's still like, this is so pointless & over-priced for what i do.

decentralized lunacy 

people keep saying that maybe the next cryptocoin is going to wreck the ssd or the memory market, and i hate these people so much. decentralization getting coopted by a bunch of loons is such a tragic thing unto itself, but to have these loons also all be committed to consuming disproportionately massive amounts of computing resources is such a pathetic drag on the rest of us.

one of the weirdest things about ecommerce is how there are often a dozen of the same product for sale (sometimes with some minor variation/cost cutting measures but just as often identical), at some different low price points, then you have to double the price to get anything else, & there's not a lot out there. the market is saturated with so many clones, and there are so few options when the cheapo basic isn't enough.

started germinating a bunch of seed, lashed up a new hammock spot on the front porch, started shuffling/cleaning up the very very old shit in the garret to prep the space for aerial yoga. cleaned the yard some, the room a little. finally saw dns starting to work last night (but not quite yet), from a quite intricate helm chart / docker image i've been hacking for a long time.

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