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SomeBODY once told me they had a treasure for me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
They said good ol' Fortunado, you like amontillado?
Got a cask in a basement at my homestead.

Been working on a character recently, who I call "My Roommate Dracula." I think I'm really getting the voice down. Goes something like this:

"I don't sound ANYthing LIKE that! Vhy do you insist that you can DO an imPRESSion of me, you svine? Haff I no feelings to be hurt?"

But like, pretend I was wearing a cape. That's a big part of it.

In other news, too get ahead of the dystopia curve, I now accept Facebook Bucks in exchange for doxxed information of high ranking corporate officials. Meet me on tor, fuckers

Listen, I've been around crypto since the earliest days, I know how it works.

Which is why i doubt any US regulations would be able to stop Facebook from launching Libra.

It will happen, and in future decades, history will laugh at us for not noticing corporations becoming too powerful before it was far too late.


somebody once told me
you're gonna wake up hungry
don't eat the plums i left in the fridge

in the morning i was dumb
and my tongue was kinda numb
so i foraged around for some breakfast

well the plums start coming and they don't stop coming
once you eat one you just can't stop plumming
don't stop to think till they're all gone
i think oh shit you've done it now shaun
so much to eat so much to chow
why did i go for the plums now
i'd better leave a good note
so here's the thing that i wrote

One of my milkweed stalks had a plague of aphids on it, so instead of going for more rubbing alcohol, I decided to chop off the stalk and throw the whole thing away, aphids and all. Enjoy slowly decomposing in my compost bin, fuckers.

I did also see some kind of predatory beetley thing creeping along a leaf with an aphid in its pincers. Fucking superb, you funky little carnivore

We hired a new Australian Sysadmin today.

She's from a LAN down under.

Start of day: I'll generate a hash from the system random function in python's secrets package. Should be random enough to generate 10,000,000 different hashes with no duplicates.

End of day: If this server that's generating random numbers based off the quantum fluctuations of a vacuum isn't random enough to generate 10,000,000 unique hashes, I'll be forced to consult the clergy.

i just managed to get a really really low quality reproduction of something that i had on my monitor, from radio noise i captured with my sdr

its out of sync and very low-res but it's *there*

first half of video is recording, second half is playback

(warning: radio static noise in video)

I can't stop reading the white paper. Honestly how are we supposed to satirize corporate tech bros when they roast themselves so comprehensively with their own ideas like this

If this weren't real it would truly be the Mona Lisa of tech satire

There's A Monster Inside This Post Show more

I've written an article about Facebooks new shady research program, for my newsletter. Hope you like it!

I'm okay with the youths forming dueling societies and wearing bright sashes indicating their success to date and prowess with the blade, but I wish they'd stick to official dueling areas.

I couldn't go grab my lunch in my usual spot today 'cause two bravos were going at it in the potato chip aisle, flashing blades cutting open vacuum-sealed bags when they failed to land home, the air full of potato bits and seasoning dust and for what? Honor?

What is honor compared to lunch?

Hey! I've started a new project that I'm really thrilled about and thought you'd all love.

It's a newsletter targeted towards freelancers, which I am, called the Mercenary Review.

You can check it out here:

The first issue is about a defense tech companies merger, and how it could be good for freelancers

I also talk about Kohos new premium account, and whether or not it's worth the upgrade.

Let me know what you think!

Special Thanks to the Street Eatery @ 4th Ave Calgary for wine & dining me like never before!

Got to try their delicious Vegan Philly cheese steak & vegan chocolate shake!

Absolutely delicious! Can't wait to come back.

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