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‘Take a picture’. Not ‘make a picture’ silly me.
It’s late; give me a break and a bottle of buzz.

People being respectful of MY boundaries? *i pull out a claw hammer* It's about to be more likely than you think.

paper mario is fucking terrifying to me. imagine someone tells you that you can turn a new way and suddenly you can perceive an additional dimension of space. all of mario's dialogue should be screaming.

Linux users are wizards: they do more work for the same functions, but in exchange they get more flexibility and power.

Windows users are sorcerer: they get innate support and intuitive functions, but not nearly as many tricks as the wizards.

Mac users are warlocks: they bonded their souls to a malevolent power that doesn't actually care about them.

I need to announce that BlackFire Security is now partnered with Binary Defense.

Because they are good.

social experiment: check every option of this poll

Me, talking into my phone: Mal, buddy, New Year's Eve isn't today, I don't know why, no buddy today isn't New Year's Eve it's just not I'm sorry look I- hey just, ok no need to be sad, you're not letting me down ok?

One of the sound files for ducks in Terraria is a guy going "quack..." the dev team said they just found that sound file online and decided to use it

DOCTOR, GREETING ME AFTER I WAKE UP FROM A 20 YEAR COMA: Welcome sir, you've been in a coma for 20 years after you fell down 50 flights of stairs into a bomb factory. We've had to do massive prosthesis work on you to keep you alive
ME, LOOKING DOWN TO SEE THE LEFT HALF OF ME IS ALL METAL: Ah fuck this rules doesn't it?
DOCTOR, LOOKING AT HIS CLIPBOARD AND BACK TO ME: It extremely does sir

Barbara Cartland’s love of pink was inspired by a visit to Tutankhamun’s tomb in the 1920s. ‘I saw all this wonderful pink on the walls and the artefacts. I was so impressed that I vowed to wear it for the rest of my life.’

Cats are banned on Svalbard, so the one cat on the island is registered as a fox.

"Austerity is the idea that the global financial crash of 2008 was caused by there being too many libraries in Wolverhampton."
Alexei Sayle

#politics #austerity

have you ever thought "I wish potato chips were transparent, also that I could dip them in potato cream cheese bacon fat slurry"

no, you have not, because you are not a monster. come, friends, and join in Scrum's nightmares

PEPSIMAN IS HERE TO REDESIGN MY LOGO. I TELL HIM I DON'T HAVE A LOGO AND HE GRABS ME BY THE THROAT

i made this and i have no idea what to do with it but i'm putting it out into the world anyways

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