I should see *The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo*. Given my tastes, I think I'd like "nordic noir"; a lot of people around me were really into them a few years ago, but I passed them up then. The other reason is, if I want to better understand the potential of digital as opposed to film, I guess I'll have to see Fincher's work.
I was noting how when I saw a trans person post something complimenting trans people as a group about something I was insecure with, I had to fight off a strong urge to say "not me though" and I realized it was sort of an accusation: "if what you say is true, why am I so alone?"
My friend said to me that the reason why I'm alone is not because of some essential characteristic, but because my sadness drives other people away. She meant it to be uplifting but I don't see any possible transformation taking me away from what is such a core of my being. I don't think I have what it takes to be less sad, especially as I already had to leave behind some realms of emotion that were even worse for me and for others (anger for instance). I don't think I can remember a time when I was not sad.
depressing world/future stuff
I feel like every time I try to think of anything more than 'return to New York, meet your gf, volunteer at the bookstore, drink coffee' I can only spiral. I wish I knew of an intellectually and morally honest (that is, both of the world and what sorts of conditions I, personally, can live in) way to feel hope for the future.