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CW your covid-related posts please and thank you

Cooking PSA 

I think I might have posted this already, but the New York Times has a very good cooking section, and they have a lot of quarantine-friendly recipes and basic cooking advice in front of the paywall

Moon over Tesco and some fences against the sunset, from tonight’s walk.

Tried a different walking direction this evening and it was OK. Not picturesque, but nice chill roads and back streets with occasional cluster of small shops. Not good for photography, but things I saw included:

- a row of three pizza-kebab-chicken joints, each with a hand written sign in the window saying “bike rider wanted”.

- a restaurant that had just converted everything into a big brightly- lit kitchen space that faced onto the street, with plenty of room for the cooks to keep their distance.

- a free library full of children’s books in a glass-fronted cabinet on someone’s front wall.

- two young women sitting on the curb and chatting with glasses of wine, two metres apart.

- a glimpse of a half grown fox cub vanishing into a hedge as it saw me.

selfie, eye contact 

Heading out for a walk around sunset.

Transition and changes (4) 

All that sounds a bit relentlessly positive but it’s honestly hard to think of a downside. That’s because I have a lot of privilege - I’m posh, white, and middle aged with a steady job and I live in a big city in a country that gives me meaningful rights as a “protected category”. And even then, coming out was terrifying and so was negotiating even the mild gatekeeping you get here with private care. It’s been so so worth it for me, but my experience is anything but universal, and your own experience and feelings are valid regardless.

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Transition and changes (3) 

Internally? I’m happier, calmer, and more confident than I was - which isn’t to say I’m always happy, calm, or confident. Going out in public was nerve-wracking at first but it’s got much easier. It helps that I’m in the big city where no one really minds what you do and that I’ve not yet experienced significant transphobia.

And my sexual response has changed. Not lower libido, but different feelings and a different pattern.

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Transition and changes (2) 

In terms of looks, I have a more feminine haircut and I’m taking more interest in clothes now I don’t have to struggle with the feeling that nothing looks quite right. I’ve changed my name - easy to do in the UK - and got the gender on my passport changed. I’m trying to work on my voice but it’s bastard hard and I’m having trouble keeping up with practise.

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Transition and changes (1) 

(As suggested by @dragon )

It’s a bit less than three years since I figured out I was a trans woman, and a little more than two years since I started hrt. (Estrogen patches - no anti-androgens or progesterone as yet.)

Physically, I have small but definite boobs, fat redistribution to the hips and thighs for a more feminine body shape overall, softer skin, and finer lighter body hair. I’ve had my face lasered so although I have enough white hair that I still have to shave, I don’t have visible shadow. And my posture’s improved because I took up pilates - which happened because I care more about my body than I used to.

My timeline is getting much better here since strictly unfollowing anyone that discusses interpersonal conflict as though they're watching a sport or following a TV show or jumping in to make a meme out of it (ffs look at yourself).
Just a lil tip really; to remove the people from in front of you that get a buzz off this cos you don't need that. None of us need that. What a strange and horrible thing to be excited about x

bride of the daughter of the return of Subnautica fuckery 

...and I think we’re back on course. I got instantly killed once on the way out but that was my own bad decision for a change, and I seem to have a working save again now.

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bride of the daughter of the return of Subnautica fuckery 

Attempt number four million and six: spawn a new prawn suit inside Significant Location being careful not to put it near a down ramp (up is fine), to avoid clipping. Spawn depth module, because crush depth applies in air, too, apparently. Carefully manoeuvre next to raised platform, because it won’t do the hunker-down animation for some reason so I can’t easily reach the upgrade slots on the top. Apply depth upgrade...

trans, old relationships 

It occurs to me, not for the first time, that two of the three people I dated when I was young and didn’t know I was trans have subsequently come out as asexual, and the third had significant body confidence issues. The subconscious is a tricksy thing.

continued Subnautica fuckery 

Okay... using console, teleport self inside Significant Location. Spawn a new prawn suit and depth upgrade. Exit location, resetting underwater flag. Return to original suit to transfer cargo and other upgrades, aided by constant attacks from an angry warper. Return to Significant Location because I need the drill arm in there. Get stuck in terrain again and find I’m clipping when I exit the suit.

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continued Subnautica fuckery 

Unless crush depth doesn’t apply when you’re out of the water? Debugging the game so you can finish it is truly the only hardcore way to play.

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continued Subnautica fuckery 

Okay... looks like the “out of the water” property persists past a save and load for both me and the prawn suit. Presumably because clipping through doesn’t toggle it. This is going to be a problem, even with console commands, given the prawn suit’s full of stuff I need and below basic crush depth.

Subnautica gripes 

The idea that games have to be more difficult near the end is pernicious. As, really, is the idea of “difficult” and the culture around it.

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Subnautica gripes 

Also, the lava biome is significantly past my willing suspension of disbelief threshold and all the evolution-related timescales are missing at least one and more reasonably two zeroes, even with the excuses given.

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Subnautica gripes 

Laboriously make way to Significant Location, to find I’m expected to have reached Other Location first and can’t do anything. Laboriously make way to Other Location, though large murky hard-to-navigate area. Save. Get stuck in terrain. Reload, clip through, and die. Spend half an hour making way laboriously back to vehicle. Decide not to save until I’m in the open. Proceed laboriously etc. Get warped out of vehicle, which falls into lava and explodes.

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the mastodon instance at is retiring

see the end-of-life plan for details: