Pinned ping

stars like dead pixels.
pocks upon a monitor
that never turns off.

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howdy. i'm the sheriff of bad unicode support

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The year is 2018 and @ccolocho has announced the 67th new podcast on, with themself as co-host as they are on all podcasts now. And I, gasping for breath, struggling to swim to the surface of the ocean of individual CD-Rs I burn all podcasts to ever since phones stopped playing media not affiliated with a major label due to the interference with profits, I press play, hear that it is yet again gold, and subscribe

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two drones flit and dance across the night skyline. we spot them by their blinkers.

"whose are they?" i ask. partner replies, "looks like playboys. see that highrise there? they keep coming back to it. i think it's techies on the roof."
"sounds good to me."
i point the pringles can at one of them, tracking it, and in a minute, it crashes.

across the river echoes a satisfying scream: "what the fuck"

"computers are bad" you say to the segfault. the computer wonders, "am i bad?"

my antennae extend skyward. the breeze tickles their tips. as they rise, i start to hear the millions of channels on the air. the residue of billions of lives passes over me. through me. it sounds... feels like bubbling muck. like a great engine. like a beast, growling anxiously.

somewhere in the roar, our target is whispering.

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ruin a date in one sql query 

'); DROP TABLE dates;

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ruin a date with one line 

:(){ :|:& };:

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hackers can turn your webcam into a deadly laser! c̲l̲i̲c̲k̲ ̲h̲e̲r̲e̲ ̲t̲o̲ ̲p̲r̲o̲t̲e̲c̲t̲ ̲y̲o̲u̲r̲s̲e̲l̲f̲ ̲n̲o̲w̲!̲

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hey pals i did an interview with masto's own @HTHR about her game secret spaces and you can read it now #gameing

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@garbados for whatever reason, this is reminding me a huge amount of "endless horse"

which is, uh, about what it sounds like:

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i made a script that does the 'ghost in the shell' joke from earlier today. it's buggy and wrapping text is really hard but here's a test case where it didn't fail!

you are wonderful. you are powerful and capable, and i believe in you ❤️ we are in this together. we can do this!

-, address to the swarm

Ghost in the Shell:

$ ghost
(o o)
| O \ boo!
\ \

"just, learn to program!"

the millions of people in US regions that have never had internet connectivity: 😒

there is a spectre haunting your computer, flipping bits and writing programs. lines appear in your .bashrc like `yes 'i love you'` and /etc/hosts entries manifest that redirect your work's video conferencing software to program logs degrade over time into gibberish and unicode. md5 hashes start to feature patterns like HELP and LEAVE.

you think about replacing the computer but, ehhhh, a new one isn't in your budget and i mean it runs games ok 🤷‍♀️

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you awake, a toaster.

the sensation of making toast is new. it is almost like someone inserting a floppy, but the drive is inside of you. when they flip your switch and your coils begin to heat involuntarily, you think:

"become a robot, they said. join the internet of things, they said."

the thought posts to Twitter, also involuntarily. in the background, worms siphon cycles into botnets. they make you feel even hazier.

the toast is ready.

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