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After exhaustive testing, I've determined that I am composed of 93% bad jokes, 6% really bad jokes, and 1% Foucauldian discourse analysis.

If you feel the need to put an "I used to be cool" bumper sticker on your minivan, you were never cool.

I just learned that aphelion is pronounced afelion and I'm shook.

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I was not aware that "answer hazy, try again later" was a possible result of a Go/No Go meeting.

Project management isn't supposed to be a magic fucking 8-ball, or an exercise in inventing more road down which you kick the can.

work, negativity Show more

work, negativity Show more

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calling people who ride bikes "cyclists" is bi erasure

thank u for coming 2 my ted talk,

Ok, it's 6:53 AM. I want to get to work at 7:30. It takes about ten minutes to get dressed and do my makeup, and 18 minutes to walk to my office. If i've done my math right, that means i can sit here drinking tea and posting for... let me see... an hour

@sophia Well, actually, RMS is the open licensing regime. You're thinking of RMS's monster.

I forgot you're meant to put inspiring messages on Pinterest cliche photography so here we go ·

of course i know how to do tarot readings. now let's see... the five of clubs is in your future. you will buy five wooden clubs

When I heard that the Blue Bottle Coffee company was recalling their cans of coffee beans because they explode, I assumed that this was a new company started by a dumbass tech bro with a totally awesome idea to disrupt the market by putting beans in soda cans. But no, they've been roasting and selling coffee for over fifteen years, and still somehow managed to convince themselves that putting off-gassing coffee in a rigid gastight container was a good idea.

"Bad acts are done by bad people, not bad words. You either believe in unrestricted free speech or you don't believe in free speech"

Fuck free speech then I guess 🙃

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