I'm moving to @kinsey because that's really the username I wanted all along

*turns on autoplay gifs* he's so much more beautiful than I thought 😭😭😭

:polarbear: :polarbear: :polarbear: :polarbear: :polarbear: :polarbear: :polarbear:

fuck it, I'm writing a script to automatically hit the "get connected" button for McDonald's wi-fi

all the hands 💪👈👉☝️👆🖕👇✋🖐️🤙🤘🖖🤞✌️👌👍👎✊👊🤛🤜🙏🙌👐👏✍️👋🤚🤝💅

folks, in this time of warmth in the cold and celebration in the darkness, just remember one thing when you're with your families this holiday season:

make the yuletide gay

*sees a bunch of question mark boxes in a notification in Amaroq* ah, it's @patcoet

I just noticed the "migrate" option yesterday so I might try to go for @kinsey@cybre.space eventually

oh my god, I literally never knew about `sudo !!` before now, this is life-changing

Incidentally, the Senate voted after Gaius Julius Caesar's death to rename Quintilis after him because he was born then, and likewise Sextilis after Augustus Caesar.

Moving the kalends of Januarius back to the winter solstice would have necessarily moved Saturnalia /away/ from the winter solstice - and the people who'd been celebrating Yule and were now celebrating Saturnalia didn't want that. So Saturnalia stayed where it was, and Januarius stayed where it was. And that's why the new year doesn't start on the winter solstice.

Saturnalia was originally on the 18th of December (or, as the Romans would have measured it, the 13th/12th/14th day before the kalends of Januarius), but it expanded, becoming a week-long event. This was partly because, well, people liked a party at the end of the calendar year (not to be confused with the end of the actual year pre-Republic) and partly because it was, consciously or not, taking over Yule.

So consuls wanted to start on the kalends (I know I spelled it calends in the last toot, hush) of Januarius so they could start their term with an offering to the god of doorways, who would then grant an auspicious transition between consuls.

So why didn't the kalends of Januarius get moved back to the winter solstice? Because of Yule.

Not because the Romans celebrated Yule - it was a pagan holiday. The Romans celebrated Saturnalia.

So remember how we were talking about why the year doesn't start on the winter solstice? A couple reasons. First, it /never/ did (in the Roman tradition, anyway). It originally started in March, which contained the spring equinox but didn't /start/ on it.

The start of the year was moved back to January for political reasons. Remember Janus, the god of doorways? It was considered auspicious for consuls to change out near his festival. His festival was nearest the calends of January.

Oh, also, as (*scrolls back four million pages*) @troubleMoney mentioned, the priesthood - who until not long before Julius controlled the /release/ of the calendar, meaning that people paid attention to them to know when the months started - would extend or contract years to keep politicians (who were on yearly terms) they liked in power or force politicians they didn't like out early.

Julius's reforms still weren't /quite/ right - the length of a year is just a fraction shorter than 365.25 years, which forced the Gregorian reform of 1582 (and hey, I remembered that year right on the first try). But it was good enough for government work, as they say.

The Julian reform - which was ordered by our friend G.Jiddy but not, as far as we know, actually created by him - did three important things.

First, it added those three intercalary months to put the year back where it was supposed to be (March had slid around to the dead of winter).

Second, it got rid of Mercedonius, putting the year back at 355 days.

Third, it scattered ten new days throughout the year, which gave us the calendar we know today.

Also, the Romans had caught on to leap years by this point, so every fourth year, Februarius had an extra day on the end, bringing its total to 29.

I want to be clear, though, that while they'd caught on to leap days, they STILL had not caught on to the length of the damn year. Count those days again: it's 378. By the time of poor Gaius Julius Caesar in 46 BC, the calendar was so fucked up that he needed THREE intercalary months to right it again.

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Cybrespace

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