@prokoudine this reminds me of an intentionally-bad programming language called "intercal".
there's a "PLEASE" keyword. if less than 20% of statements have "PLEASE" at the start, the program crashes with an error saying "PROGRAMMER IS INSUFFICIENTLY POLITE".
if more than a third have it, the error is instead "PROGRAMMER IS OVERLY POLITE".
@devurandom some people clearly have too much spare time on their hands! :) But hey, this is good fun!