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Dez, Witch relayed

link is trans and a tomboy and if you ask them what their agab is or what's in their pants their answer is "hyaaaaaaaah" and a pot broken over your head

Dez, Witch relayed
Dez, Witch relayed

called academy sports again to ask if underarmour or whoever has invented athletic fetish gear for track enthusiasts yet. they told me they're gonna hunt me down and crush my cell phone under the manager's hummer if i ask them one more time about running gags

Politics, uspol, dhs, portland 

Dez, Witch relayed

even after my years of extravagant, sinful shitting, my toilet always looks pristine and new, though i have never so much as picked up a toilet brush. my society friends shake their heads in wonder, but when they ask me my secret i simply shake my head with a mysterious smile. meanwhile, an oil painting of a disgusting fucked up old toilet gathers dust in my attic, a fresh spray of diarrhoea materialising across the canvas each morning

Using bar bets to win money from drunk rich frat tech bros and use the money to fund mutual aid programs. It's praxis.

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Current hyperfixation: scams and bar bets that I can use to truck boojey fools out of their money

"Belief is one of the most powerful organic forces in the multiverse. It may not be able to move mountains, exactly. But it can create someone who can.

People get exactly the wrong idea about belief. They think it works back to front. They think the sequence is, first object, then belief. In fact, it works the other way."
-- Terry Pratchett

Dez, Witch relayed

I played exactly one pickup tabletop game at a game store, ever

a guy got mad at me for using NSEW directions on a map in a fantasy setting because “they’d have different names for it” so I scribbled some shit and handed him a map that had the directions:

South (pronounced “sooth”)

he gave me the world’s dirtiest look and 5 minutes later when I described something as being “about ten bmiles morth by morthsqueast of here” he left the table and walked out of the shop

I never saw him again

Dez, Witch relayed

the gender binary is a product of colonization and white supremacy. there is no objective categorization of gender. there is a gender binary produced and enforced by western colonizers, but indigenous culture and frameworks (of gender and otherwise) have never conformed to a universal ideal.

when the human experience is reduced into a “universal truth” i.e. “there are only two sexes/genders” it is done to preserve and uphold violent colonization, and to discredit indigenous situated knowledges.

Dez, Witch relayed

I forgot to take my meds, so here's your reminder to take your meds lol

Dez, Witch relayed

remember when kamala harris went against a supreme court order to release 5000 nonviolent offenders to relieve overcrowding in california prisons?

Dez, Witch relayed

A little bit of email sabotage
A little bit of paint on my garage
A little bit possessive here I am
A little bit of threat to message man

Dez, Witch relayed

🎶 One, two, three four five

Everybody stop now, don't email my wife 🎶

Dez, Witch relayed

Elon Musk discovered Covid test false positives the same way he discovers everything else: well after most people knew about it and he proclaims himself the first to have noticed

Dez, Witch relayed

The year is 2021. An antifa supersoldier knocks on a terrified patriot's door. "Comrade, you are suspected to be in possession of contraband Dilbert comic strips. Pursuant to local shitposting etiquette, I am required to perform a vibe check."

Dez, Witch relayed
Dez, Witch relayed

oh my god, at the primary school across the road some guy is filling a pothole in the car park and a crowd of about 10 eight-year olds have congregated at the playground gate to chant "Bob the builder, can he fix it? Bob the builder, no he can't"" at him relentlessly for 15 minutes and counting. Soul destroying

Dez, Witch relayed

hot take love songs have absolutely no purpose and you know it because you'd hate to hear the most beautifully played love song by someone a little too early on to feel genuine but if you're already comfy with someone they could just blow on a kazoo and death metal scream "let's fuck" for five minutes and you'd be in bed by nightfall

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