transphobia, gender, bigotry accidentally affirming my gender 

So today I went to my favorite coffee stand, in a pretty masc (for me) presentation - I was wearing dusty-plum jeans and a forest-green hoodie with the hood up, long hair down to mid-chest poking out on either side of my face, week-old ratty painted nails, blue men's Vans, large-checkered socks.

On the way back I made glancing eye contact with someone in the passenger seat of a truck before I crossed in front of it, who then after evaluating me briefly shouted out the window something along the lines of "you're a dude! that's a dude!!"

The main effect of which was me thinking "Damn, this person feels the need to aggressively police my gender when I'm at basically my minimum level of genderfuckery? I must be doing something right!"

Like, it's shitty and I'm sure it gets old fast, but also I've historically passed as cishet and don't get that much flak first-hand, so bigotry has so far mostly served to chip away at my queer impostor syndrome 😅

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gender, meta 

Also in case it wasn't clear enough, this is not to say anything about how anyone should or should not respond to bigotry, this is just observing my experience as someone who is still relatively new to being visibly queer.

That said, this also echoes a time years ago when I was holding hands with a guy I was dating and got heckled about Adam and Steve (get new material y'all!) and it also had a similar effect in affirming my bi-ness.

transphobia, gender, bigotry accidentally affirming my gender 

@cincodenada I doubt anyone was trying to police your supposed gender, it seems far more likely that someone was simply pointing out that there was something unusual to see: A guy in a dress

It's like the few times some Japanese tourist group would take a wrong turn and end up in the tiny town I grew up in, the adults would always shout "Oh look, that's Asian people, everyone come and look at those Asians"

transphobia, recursive transphobia, the affirmation intensifies 

@katie Is this...I think this might be the first time I've had a trollish response to sharing my experience as a queer person! More firsts, dang!!

Anyway, in case you're earnestly engaging, firstly: read my post again, I wasn't even wearing a dress! I was in jeans and a hoodie, literally the only femme things abut me were colorful clothes, nails ( well can you see those from a truck) and my long hair. So, like, not even that weird, especially in downtown Portland.

Secondly: This was not a friendly or curious or even bewildered observation - I get those too, often from kids, and I see them as delightful learning opportunities. This was aggressive and accusatory.

Thirdly: I'm not gonna take this bait about your tiny town's racism any further than saying I grew up in a tiny town too, and adults shouting to gather round and see the Strange Foreigners is indeed racist as shit.

Thanks for contributing to my queer experience!™️

transphobia, gender, bigotry accidentally affirming my gender 

@cincodenada I had somebody randomly come up to me in a mall and shout "YOU FOOKIN WEIRDO" to my face (I was wearing a skirt) and tbh I felt powerful, like, if I can offend these people with my very existence, I HAVE QUEER POWER!
but it still kinda sucked and I don't want to have to deal with it again.

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