It's no reflection on trans folks, but I hate being labelled cis. Don't identify as that, don't want to. Apparently saying that makes me a bigot, despite the fact that a chunk of my work is specifically supporting LGBTQI folks. Derp.

@Witchsmeller I know a lot of people who don't like the words cis and trans for themselves, and some of them their gender matches the one they were assigned and some of them it doesn't.

But if your gender truly is the same as the one you were assigned at birth, being grouped with other cis people is appropriate. If you don't want to be grouped with other cis people, perhaps you are in fact trans?

@Witchsmeller But if your gender is truly the same as the one you were assigned at birth and you don't want to be grouped with other cis people... Yeah, you're no ally.

@cassolotl Have you thought that maybe I don't want to be grouped or labelled at all?

@Witchsmeller That's something that's common to cis and trans people in approximately equal amounts, I think! But if the gender you were assigned at birth is the same as your gender, you AT LEAST share many experiences with cisgender people - in the same way that you share experiences with other people whose gender is the same as yours, other people born in the same area as you, people who speak the same language as you, etc.

@cassolotl Yes, absolutely. I recognise that and completely agree. However, is still doesn't mean I want to, or have to, choose to identify as cis. Do you see what I mean? To me it's yet another label, yet another divider.

@Witchsmeller Sure, but that's a different thing from other people grouping you based on characteristics. You don't have to identify as cis or feel cis, but if your gender is the same as the one you were assigned at birth then you will be automatically grouped with cisgender people because language is about communicating a lot of complex information using very little effort!

@cassolotl This is reasonable, yep.

@Witchsmeller Then I'm not sure I understand! In your original toot you say "I don't like when people label me cis" but then in this toot that I'm replying to you say that people labelling you as cis is reasonable!

@cassolotl Because every time I've ever been labelled as it, it was with a spirit that said if I don't I'm a bigot! But with zero explanation as to why I should think differently. Think of it this way, trans people have generated a significant amount of understanding (literal, if not empathetic) in the general community. How did that happen?

@Witchsmeller Ahhh, that is a shame, but as part of the trans community I can sort of see why! It's like, trans people are really sick of being ignored and having our concerns dismissed and minimised, and "I don't like the cis/trans system" said by cis people is often said out of ignorance or in the spirit of denial, so it has a very different tone than when said by a person whose gender is different to the one they were assigned at birth.

@cassolotl Think ofit this way. First time I ever heard cis it was clearly used as a pejorative, and I had to look it up on wikipedia. It's like a double whammy. 9/10 people have no idea what it even means. I'm not against it in spirit, but a conversation is better than an order.

@Witchsmeller If you don't mind me asking, how was it used pejoratively? Like, as a slur? In the same way that someone would say "that thing you just did was so gay, ew"?

@cassolotl Not quite a slur, but wholly dismissive. As if being who I am meant that I had nothing valid to say. Not even like a case of mansplaining, but a simple "Phhhht"

@Witchsmeller Well, I think that might have been appropriate depending on context. Obviously no one likes to be dismissed, but when discussing sensitive issues about a particular marginalised group, WITH a member of that marginalised group, AS a person from the privileged group, it is really really hard to navigate that sensitively, and it is also really hard work for a trans person to be so tolerant with the same issues over and over again...

@cassolotl Yep, I hear you. But when the majority of people have no idea what it means, that's an issue.

@Witchsmeller I would say that as members of the marginalised group, it is not our job to deal with transphobia - and transphobia includes "we are normal and don't have to deal with the cis/trans spectrum because we are normal." I would say that it's the responsibility of people of cis experience to teach each other to not be transphobic/oppressive.

@cassolotl I think in this case, sincerely, the vast majority of cis people (Yeah, I get it and will use it appropriately :) ) simply would be amazed that not being aware of "being cis" is inherently transphobic. It's a massive bow to draw imo.