It's no reflection on trans folks, but I hate being labelled cis. Don't identify as that, don't want to. Apparently saying that makes me a bigot, despite the fact that a chunk of my work is specifically supporting LGBTQI folks. Derp.

@Witchsmeller I know a lot of people who don't like the words cis and trans for themselves, and some of them their gender matches the one they were assigned and some of them it doesn't.

But if your gender truly is the same as the one you were assigned at birth, being grouped with other cis people is appropriate. If you don't want to be grouped with other cis people, perhaps you are in fact trans?

@Witchsmeller But if your gender is truly the same as the one you were assigned at birth and you don't want to be grouped with other cis people... Yeah, you're no ally.

@cassolotl Have you thought that maybe I don't want to be grouped or labelled at all?

@Witchsmeller That's something that's common to cis and trans people in approximately equal amounts, I think! But if the gender you were assigned at birth is the same as your gender, you AT LEAST share many experiences with cisgender people - in the same way that you share experiences with other people whose gender is the same as yours, other people born in the same area as you, people who speak the same language as you, etc.

@Witchsmeller If you reject labels like "English-speaker" and you don't identify with the gender you're usually grouped with (even though you admit that you experience that gender) and you don't identify as [birthcountry]ian and so on, then it's not about trans/cis, and there is no need to mention that one incongruence specifically, right? But when you do mention that one incongruence specifically, it comes across as bigoted.

@cassolotl The thing is, it's only in this instance where I'm called a bigot for not using it, even though I wouldn't use the others either.

@Witchsmeller This instance like, when talking about not wanting to be called cis? I imagine that's because there is a BIG difference in power and experience between being cis and being trans. And, I think people have said "I don't feel cis" while having a cis experience quite a lot, so it's rubbing it in trans people's faces - we "don't feel cis" a LOT more than you, right? We get beaten, murdered, evicted, fired for "not feeling cis", so hearing a cis person say that is very dismissive.

@Witchsmeller It is often used in ignorance, to erase the marginalisation we face in one tiny sentence. So for a lot of us it is a red flag. Even when said innocently, it is insensitive.

@Witchsmeller It's in the same box, perhaps, as "well, we're all a little bit trans, aren't we?" It shows that the speaker has no real awareness of the vast difference of experience.

I have seen people say "I'm not trans, but I have a trans experience." So perhaps you could be like "I don't identify as cis, but I have a cis experience" - how does that feel?