Everything was going fine until somebody told me that Wil Wheaton used his tumblr account to say that calling someone a Democrat is a slur

Announcing the new word I have coined, “edraculate” to refer to situations where you suddenly develop a classic vampire accent

Could God write OC so cringetown that even He, in His wisdom, could not ship it?

Biden supporters simply aren't ready to admit that 'motorbike' is short for 'motorious bike'. They can't stand it

just realised I'm old enough to remember when imgur took over from photobucket as the preferred forum image hosting solution and now I'm going to walk into the sea

Holding a gender reveal party where I load up an aerial firefighting tanker with coloured water and set it off in the Californian wilderness

"My computer's fans are blowing so hard you'd think I have the Epic Games Launcher open," I say out loud. I look around. The room is empty. My wife has left me. There is no sound now but the fans.

[after saying something unbelievably pedestrian and milquetoast] let. that. sink. in.

New from me: Pronouncing 'PayPal' as 'Papple'

Unbelievable deals,
Shiny, shimmering savings,
Tell me princess, does your phone contract leave you satisfied?

Consumers be like "Ah! Please reassure me through advertising that every single potato chip in this bag was hand-carved with love by a master craftsman! I simply won't purchase it unless I believe this is true!" and then take it to the checkout counter and insist on paying no more than $0.08 for six bags

I'm the guy at Microsoft who decide that Office should highlight whole words when you try to select one or two individual letters inside that word. I thought that was a good idea. I sat down and coded that into my software because I am very clever

Me, to my wife: Mastodon is a better platform than Twitter, it’s better for my mental health

Me, to myself: I could post “Team Rocket’s blasting ass again”

Modern Monetary Theory (MMT) advances the controversial theory that money is real, and strong, and my friend

Using my brane to make thoughts, decisions... incredible

I always like to think of myself as having strong willpower, but look, when the chips are down? I will eat them

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