timb @burgerdrome@cybre.space
nightmarish configuration of hungry metal
Joined Oct 2018
timb
relayed
Gravity Falls? Haha, it sure does. Well, see ya round kid.
timb
relayed
Rescuing a lobster from the grocery store, tending to it as it returns to full health, and then teaching it to code.
"No man is an island"? Maybe this was true, long ago. But times have changed, and we must change with them. Introducing Gary Island,
You're eating a credit card's worth of microplastic every day. I'm eating an entire box of Lego bricks for dinner. Am I just built different? No, sweetie. It's called being a vegan.
hispanic! at la discoteca
corporations are so needy. "how was using our service?" shut the fuck up
engaging in some personal growth (putting on weight)
insisting to my date that the holes in my underwear are "speed holes" to help me go faster in the bedroom
Did you know? "La petite mort" is French for "the little mort"
[extremely The Darkness voice] 🎵 remorseless Norsemen eat my balls🎵
Imagine dragons? Haha, no thank you. A little bit too fantastic for my tastes. I will imagine something safer, like a coffee cup or a palm tree.
timb
relayed
me: octopi are able to hug 4 people simultaneously, because god blessed them with the ability. however, they don't even ever hug one person, because they have made covenant with the devil. any questions
churchgoer: where did our regular pastor go
me: he is in a better place now. sit down immediately
they call me Joe Pesky because I just won't fuck off
fellas is it communist to buy shares in PayPal stock
YOU: being asked to attend a meeting with HR to explain your posts
ME: knocking on the door of HR eight times a day, asking if they've seen my posts, demanding to know why they didn't fave them if they did see them
nightmarish configuration of hungry metal
Joined Oct 2018
