this Mercator guy seems like he was just projecting, if you ask me [crowd boos] oh fuck you! let me have this

fuck 'em suck 'em robots. is this anything

tim relayed

my cat just told me I have an "empty food bowl mindset" whereas she has a "full food bowl mindset", so now I have to start turning off the wi-fi when I go to work

nobody appreciates the powerful restraint it takes not to simply open this website and type the words "horrible little turd golem" into the box and press 'post'

tim relayed

the original victim of cancel culture? that's right... lucifer, who is satan, the devil. maybe stop and think for a minute before running your mouth off next time

everybody wants clean dishes, but nobody wants to fuck the dishwasher. do you see the problem here?

tim relayed

The last envoy of a dead precursor race gave the space commander a solemn warning: "Do not make the same mistake we did, human. Exultant in our mastery, we sought only to share the joy of mambo with the universe. And so when we found the Badguyliens, we shared with them the gift not only of Mambo #5, but also Mambo #6, #7, #8, and #10. But they were not ready for the wisdom of the greater mambos - and with them, they destroyed us."

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“I ‘geth’ it’s alright” - my review of Mass Effect

Leftists simply aren't willing to admit that Karl Marx owes me $500

Bro you seen “candles”? They are straight fire

tim relayed

The real “trolley problem” is people leaving them all over the carpark and not putting them back when they’re finished shopping! Folks! Am I right! My children never call anymore

sawing wood in a mitre box owns. if you're not dropping straight cuts in a mitre box you're dead to me

tim relayed

the existence of a paul newman implies the existence of a gary oldman

Renaming my phone to ‘Game’ and changing my own name to ‘Game’ so when FaceID unlocks my phone I can whisper “game recognise game” to myself in absolute satisfaction

PODCAST AUTHOR: Gary the Protagonist was the ugliest man you’ve ever seen. Just absolute dogshit. He looked, and smelled, like a failed medical experiment to find a use for expired meat.

FAN ARTIST (putting the finishing touches on a drawing of the most beautiful man ever to live) Perfect. Another great picture of Gary from my favourite podcast.

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