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getting the words 'this is a hole mood' engraved on my shovel and resolutely refusing to make eye contact with anyone

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Me wearing a little sailor hat and Iranian flag booty shorts that mike pompeo bought me, riding a jet ski across the gulf of Oman: “oh boy, I sure do love being Iranian” *barrels into the side of a tanker*

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my position on zoomers: look I may not get your "snapped chats" and your "instant telegrams" but if you're all as communist and trans as I hear you have my blessing

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bruce springsteen screwing up sheet after sheet of crossed-out song ideas, until, in the candlelit darkness, he raises the scrawled words “horny motorcycle” aloft in triumph, kissing it

Imagine living in a world where there is a growing social movement literally called "Extinction Rebellion" like something out of a fucking YA novel and trying to explain that to your children lmao who would live in that world, in this world, this one

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amazon: i see youd like to purchase [ORB] would you like to buy [PROGRESSIVELY SMALLER ORB]

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totally allowed if not enthusiastically encouraged to take a shit in the middle of a rainforest, yet "not allowed" to take a shit in the middle of a 'rainforest cafe'. America, my client may be standing here in the docks today, but I promise, it is you who is on trial.

Thinking about how intimidating Mastodon can seem because you have to scroll through a huge list of instances and pick one and try your luck, rather than just going to "the bird website" or "the facebook" and signing up.

But then, like - that's how it always used to be? That's what forums were like, you found one randomly, you took your chances, and it worked out or it didn't.

How quickly big tech conditioned us to fear choice and mistrust the unknown, I guess. Anyway uhhh piss piss ass piss ass

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if you complain about someone pirating a cyberpunk game you're officially on the side of the megacorps

TIRED: Blaming my problems on structural issues within society

WIRED: Blaming my problems on that damn web-slinging wall-crawler, Spider-Man

Thinking about screaming, maybe screaming a bit more - then when I think I have screamed out my last and have nothing left to scream, maybe screaming again

TIRED: Self improvement

WIRED: Elf improvement

Re-opening my Mastodon account to type the word 'porp' into this text box and immediately closing it again

Might build my identity around pop culture and then collapse into a dense neutron star when the creator pulls it out from under me like Lucy in a Peanuts strip

Trying to do a Post, Online but all I do is scream instead

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feeling like I might cybe the space a bit more

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cybrespace: the social hub of the information superhighway

jack in to the mastodon fediverse today and surf the dataflow through our cybrepunk, slightly glitchy web portal