Ritually burning my clothes each and every time after I finish taking a shit, loudly muttering “it’s the only way to be sure”. HR keeps demanding I come and see them in their office but I refuse
All that Americans do is catch subway, hang up phone call without saying goodbye, go into medical debt after being billed $250,000 for a 30-minute hospital stay, and die
Astounding my co-workers by loudly saying "Time to get down to business" and then opening so many blank Excel spreadsheets that my computer crashes. I announce that my business is "going into liquidation" and leave via the window
every movie trailer now is just a researcher looking over a bunch of cave paintings which show a dude holding a fucked up magic sword while the voiceover says "every culture in the world has a story... of a dude with a fucked up magic sword..."
Just saying it doesn't seem fair that my cat gets to eat a special type of tinned food called "gravy lovers" with no consequences but when I drink straight out of the gravy packet I'm "ruining Christmas" and "getting divorced"
Once again leftists are infighting over whether rat kings should be beheaded as part of the class war against the monarchy, or given pats and little bits of cheese for being "cool as hell"
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