If you tried to run a matrix server in the past and found it incredibly difficult to keep running and updated I need you to know that these days if you install the debian package from matrix's debian repos and follow the instructions over at https://matrix-org.github.io/synapse/latest/setup/installation.html you will get a server that works and is very easy to keep up to date via normal apt mechanisms.
it still requires some know-how and I wouldn't recommend it if you've never run any sort of server before, but it is not the nightmare it used to be.
@artemis that's encouraging to hear! I don't have much use for matrix personally but I will support any ally I can find in the war against discord.