mullet haver @alex@cybre.space

i can't believe grimes fell off elon musk's blimp and died

Name 1 thing elon musk actually literally did

Astronaut 1: Hi mate, I can't find any milk for my coffee.

Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.

for a change of pace im going to complain about ello

a hot girl in a bikini cn get a million boosts but how many can we get our lord & savior??

wendy's is going to get a mastodon and, now free of the restrictions of twitter's terms and services, will absolutely go apeshit on anyone who dares to tarnish the wendys brand

@alex buff arms meme:
bikers and jaywalkers unite in: disrespecting traffic laws

between about 2009-2013 i would sit & write, honing my craft, on old scraps & exercise books that i had left over from school. i wrote a lot of extremely good toots. some of them ive only got round to posting recently. but a lot of them were bad, garbage, just not up to my standards. when i wrote something bad i would throw it away, screw it up. put it in the trash. around that time i noticed some of my trash going missing?? and some of it being posted online on twitter.com under the name 'dril'

@modern.seinfeld

Jerry: she subtooted you?

George: Subtooted me!

Jerry: what do you do in that situation, do you refute the toot?

George: Jerry, the virgin refutes the toot, I, the chad.. BOOST the toot!

J: You boost the toot sub tooting you?

G: Boost the subtoot!

Kramer *enters*: That's called a domtoot.

(yelling into the woods) i love you mothman

i hope that whoever came up with the little floaty popup boxes playing unrelated videos on news sites runs out of some essential ingredient while cooking today