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Oh boo hoo my burrito costs 50 cents more this year, surely it's because workers have gotten a better wage not massive global inflation or the hundreds of millions of dollars in executive bonuses, won't someone think of the burrito hungry children!

"hi excuse me is everything in this jewelry store insured? Oh great! Okay, I'm gonna ask you not to ring the alarm please, i won't hurt anyone but this is a robbery. Okay can everyone get on the ground for me real quick? Thanks! Alright could i have all that jewelery and the money in the cash register? Thank you very much, hey apologies everyone if any of you want a specific piece of jewelry or something feel free to ask I've got a lot and I know a lot of you were probably eying something you couldn't afford, consider this a thank you for not calling the cops, okay have a great day everyone bye now!"

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People should never be edge cases.

If your system fails because a person cannot hear sounds, your system is broken. If it fails because a person has no address, it’s broken. If it fails because their phone number comes from another country, it’s broken. If it fails because of all the reasons above, it’s still broken.

Edge cases happen, but human beings don’t deserve to find themselves in one.

tech gripe 

I wish there was even just one decent standalone email client on linux that didn't feel like a relic from the 90s.

Yes, email itself is a relic, but come on.

catgirl who sits on the floor in the living room and yells at 3am, and when you finally get up to say "what??" she says "watch this!" and then runs headfirst into a screen door

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"Do you ever wish you looked like a human?"
The robot filtered out the first few replies that came to mind. "We modelled the effect of humanlike robots."
"Many humans would be accused of being robots, and assaulted for it."
"Nobody hates you robots!"
"Or disrespects us?"
#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

A sparkling catsoul hovered in space beneath the burning gaze of the Cosmic Eyes.

'Will they be kind to me, on Earth?'

SOME, replied the Cosmic Eyes.

'And the child I am assigned -- are they good?'

THAT REMAINS TO BE SEEN, replied the Cosmic Eyes.

The catsoul considered this. '... Do they need me?'

DESPERATELY, replied the Cosmic Eyes.

'Then I will go.'

On Earth, a small cat emerged from a shrub and chased after a crying child, chirping a greeting.

#microfiction #TootFic

hey our fucking two hour long video THE MATRIX SEQUELS ARE GOOD ACTUALLY is going live in ten minutes, y'all should watch it.

there's a barber shop near where i live with all-female barbers, and the owner is obviously trying to make it like Hooters: Barber Edition but it's actually more like Lesbian Gang Barbers

@PsyChuan duck duck go why do i still have adhd so much even when i am high on amphetamines

Institutional Memory and Reverse Smuggling

I worked for several decades at a large petrochemical company. In the early 1980s, we designed and built a plant that refines some hydrocarbon type stuff into other hydrocarbon type stuff. Over the next thirty years, institutional memory of this plant faded to a dim recollection. Oh, it still operates, and still makes money for the firm. Day to day maintenance is performed, and the skilled local crew is familiar with the controls, valves, safety systems, and other such.

But the company has forgotten how it really works. ...

#InstitutionalMemory #DataInfiltration

I truly believe that hrt should be otc and of course people are going to be coming out of the woodwork to say "but!!!" and ignore the fact that you can destroy your liver for life by taking too much tylenol, and that's still on shelves

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i wish the script for the movie "the matrix" kept the bit about humans being kept around as coprocessors rather than power sources. i think that would have made way more sense physically and also led to some far more interesting lore questions.

like... would the sense of telepathy some people get possibly be because of correlations in how the machines push off work to those people's brains? they're in tune to an uncanny degree because the machines are having them think similar things in their spare cycles.

i also think it would have made for a really interesting tie-in to sense8.

i have catlike reflexes, in that there are certain people who make me want to rub my face on them and emit a low continuous buzz

Amelia's no-good, rotten, very bad, awful afternoon and evening 

Both sump pumps are pumping out a full well more than twice a minute. The water is coming in faster than the mains-powered one -- six inches below the DC-powered/battery-backed one in the same well -- can fully keep up with so the DC one is getting part of the top 18" of the well.

Oh, somewhere in the south foundation, behind the false wall, there is seepage enough that the carpet is tangibly damp throughout the whole basement. So I guess our next remodeling is the basement floor.

The carpet is no great loss, the cats have destroyed every scrap of it through the house, and we were already thinking of some kind of durable hardwood-like surface instead.

The weather station in the backyard records 3.09" of rain in this single event thus far.

I get up to my room. The foam packing shoved between the two parts of the window to seal the gap the A/C unit creates, has been sucked out of the house entirely.

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Amelia's no-good, rotten, very bad, awful afternoon and evening 

Ugh. Walked through the rain to my car, almost out of the parking lot, and remembered the $28,000 license dongle still in my walked all the way back to the building in the rain and realized I left my badge on my walked all the way to the main door in the rain and banged on the glass until someone came out and opened it for me. Grabbed my badge, almost forgot the dongle again. Walked all the way to my car in the rain again. Forgot to punch out. Fuck it. Just gonna correct my timecard online.

Driving home like 90% of Pontiac is underwater. Major roads like Dixie Highway and Telegraph are entirely overcome and the cops are out, directing traffic and helping the inevitable cars who got stuck.

I wander into the backyard before I go inside and it is mostly bog right now, but the sump discharge is still above water so we should avoid siphon.

So I go inside.

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