some guy at work: hey! IT said you'd be a great person to drive engineering participation in our Stack Overflow for Teams internal pilot!

me: *cleaning fingernails with a Bowie knife* did they now

yes i would like to add to my workflow another fucking thing to check after email, Slack, Confluence (worst wiki ever), and Google Drive (worst search ever, maybe worst search _possible_)

i swear to god, you can slap SAML support on any Web 2.0 horror and sell it for a hundred bucks per month per user

Mastodon for Teams when

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pitch me bad consumer apps that would be infinitely worse at work!

• Instagram for Teams
• Snapchat for Teams (thankfully SOX probably blocks this for a lot of companies)
• TikTok Enterprise

@VyrCossont I'd say Facebook for Business, but that both exists (I think) and also Yammer

@BestGirlGrace @VyrCossont mm, yammer's name even suggests that there will be lots of useless discussion on it. Just what your workflow needs right?

@BestGirlGrace yeah FB for Business definitely exists but i don't know anyone outside FB who's ever seen it

@VyrCossont I briefly worked at a video conferencing startup which had no idea where to take their product. Last I was aware they were literally building Snapchat for Teams.

@fluffy oh noooo! 😖 good on you for making it a brief stay, but that must have been disappointing

@VyrCossont yeah it was a ridiculous place full of personality cultists. I ended up only being there for like two months.

The CTO worshipped Walt Disney and the CEO was Very Involved with TED.

@VyrCossont so anyway any bad product idea you can come up with has probably been tried.

I’d joke about “Uber for office space” but that’s WeWork.

@fluffy my ex's company used them for a while, i'm sadly familiar

@VyrCossont oh how about Fiverr but for C-levels? Outsource your corporate direction to random underpaid people!

@VyrCossont facebook

(I've used this one, it's called Workday and it's a terrible substitute for in-person interaction)

@nfd @VyrCossont amusingly there is a /dev/null as a service web site. With a, "This is called a joke, if you actually use this thing *sigh*" message on it.

@VyrCossont Lime Scooters for Executives. Black paint job and now they cost $1.25/min

@VyrCossont oh! Or one of the proposed Java browser hosted rewrites of an office suite. Written in 90s Java.

@LilFluff i'm sure someone has already ported Java 1.4 to WebAssembly to unleash this exact horror

@VyrCossont I made a 'ha ha, only serious' suggestion a few years back that we would have been better off if instead of Javascript, Mozilla had simply stuck a 6502 emulator in the browser with a few hooks to the DOM.

@LilFluff oh there are definitely third party plugins for that

ironically one of them uses LibreOffice

@VyrCossont I'm really wondering if it's a bad or good an "Tinder for Teams"...

@juliobiason @VyrCossont Ir exists it's called Yammer and it's from Microsoft of course.

It's more like Facebook but still awful
@juliobiason @VyrCossont

They have an special ability to be the last ones in implement technology and the worst doing it. But their product people in Workspace tools? That's next level.

You know Microsoft Teams the Slack replacement: Everyone thought that Slack using a complete webview instance for each team in the desktop client was bonkers, but Microsoft Teams needs to *restart completely* to switch between instances, it's hilarious.
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