So now I've had a conversation with a moderator at Fosstodon.
It seems as though, despite the sites pretty bold CoC prohibition on "public or private oppressive language or actions" (language they borrowed from elsewhere), they construe that prohobition much more narrowly than is written.
In fact they allow a great deal of oppressive language, if you don't @ anyone directly.
This contradiction bolsters my inclination to suspend the instance—until they decide to enforce their CoC as written.
But Kev's snowflake post is still up, so it looks like the practice in question is still ongoing
Moderator ratio isn't worth much if there isn't an actual willingness to enforce the CoC, as there appears not to be, when it comes to an admin.