The correct way to apologize for misgendering someone is to say "sorry," correct yourself, and continue with your sentence. The longer your apology, the worse it is. No exceptions.

I've been misgendered thousands of times. I've heard every apology there is. Just fucking move on with your sentence, I don't need to hear your specific spin on how calling me "he" was part of your Personal Journey to Wokeness

a good comparison is that it's like buttonmashing through a piece of dialog you've heard a thousand times before. yes. yes. no. yes. i have the scepter of doom. no you're not a bad person for what you said. it's okay. yes. uh-huh. i don't hate you. yes. please stop talking

@HTHR My Personal Journey to Wokeness, a 48 Part Personal Essay Series Written By Anxious Cishetwhiteman, with a new introduction and foreward written by John Green and Lena Dunham.

@HTHR You're right. Though I guess I've panicked on the few times I've accidentally done it. Because I'm screaming "mother fucker I'm trans, I shouldn't be doing this kind of shit, what's wrong with me" at myself in my head with the volume of a thousand airplanes taking off.

intentional misgendering 

@HTHR my shitty ex used to do the drawn out "omg im so sorry im so awful" thing. six months later she was intentionally misgendering me bc she was jealous over the third person in our polycule. imo the longer one of those apologies is, the less sincere it is.

@SusanThatBitch absolutely. a short apology means "i have made a mistake and now i will fix it." a long apology means "it's more important that you know i'm trying than that i actually fix my mistake"

Sign in to participate in the conversation

cybrespace: the social hub of the information superhighway jack in to the mastodon fediverse today and surf the dataflow through our cybrepunk, slightly glitchy web portal support us on patreon or liberapay!