Gryph @Gryph0n@cybre.space

A peer told me (meaning it as a complement) that they want to retire to my hometown.

Holy shit has that made me mad.

My hometown is a burgeoning city that’s fast becoming a hub for young artists and creators. Because it’s not Los Angeles doesn’t mean it’s a fucking retiree community. If you really love it, make shit there and grow it.

Fuck this idea that LA is the only place to make entertainment. Let’s make games everywhere. Where it’s less expensive and prettier.

Painting my nails was a surprisingly anxiety-reducing activity. Plus now I feel pretty :3

Also, I'm v surprised at how much I like the results. The peel-off polish I got is forgiving to a first-time newb such as myself.

nails + hair
💕💜💕💜

How do folks deal with burnout?

I've sought out professional help with regards to my mental health, but I need some mentorship as it pertains to games.

In short, I've lost the passion I have for making stuff, and opening Unity just makes me wildly anxious :(

I feel like there isn't a place for me, and that I'm not fit to be or don't want to be a designer.

How do folks overcome these feelings?

I went to sleep extremely stressed and hopelessly sad and the moment I woke up I thought the things I was thinking when I was going to sleep and now I feel just as bad as when I slept :c

moke sweed

Me: goes 55 in the far right lane on LA highways because I’m scared

Me twenty minutes later: bombing 70 through some empty Altadena suburb because go fast is therapy

hazy suburbia

I imagine teens playing D&D in all these house’s basements

also I've been consumed by LANCER and mecha so have this roboboi model in progress

hey remember every time you feel like self harming and you don't that you've won a victory against your evil fuckin brain and that the part of you that has respect for you that you are cultivating won and you should be proud

making some prototypes

forcing myself not to make a Basements & Bugbears sequel

I have tried my hardest for three years, and have failed. Other people have succeeded because they have skill and potential I do not.

It's time to throw in the towel. No matter how hard I try, I will always be behind them.

I have a week's worth of homework to do tonight and I was feeling pretty great about it three hours ago but now I'm shaking with anger and crying and I think it's time to smoke myself into a hole

turns out it's 4:20, guess it's fate

I have to face the peers I know in school who have gotten real positions doing real work that they are passionate about and tell them to their face that I got a joke job for joke pay.

I'm fucking ashamed. I can't fucking do it.

I was told I needed to accept a design internship before knowing my wages or responsibilities.

Well, I accepted, and turns out I'm doing marketing and web dev for minimum wage.

What the actual fuck

how does anybody ever recover from burnout

I'm burnt out, can't come up with a project idea that will actually be good, have accepted that I am actually definitely substance addicted, and want to quit school and games and go work some shitty min wage job and live in a basement and smoke myself to death

perks of non-straight sexuality:
I crush on both members of couples I write for games

cons of being gay:
the good boy in this couple is gonna die in the game (spoilers I guess) and it's fucking me up real bAD because i LIKE HIM

I don’t know if any of the cool cats on here are at GDC but if you are and want to hang out please shoot me a toot 💜