bunker time: y1, d271, timekeeping 

It's been

Nine months since the quarantine

Locked myself in my house to try to save me

bunker time: y1, d272, LDBG, food 

Ran out for groceries and forgot my keys and headset, so I spent a tense half an hour or so in the grocery store before emerging unscathed.

Vaguely related: did you know that you can just make your own vanilla cola?

bunker time: y1, d279, glowtide, mh (-) 

Having some complicated thoughts today about community and distance. Getting some loneliness; doubts creeping in about how much (or whether) I'm really welcome.

bunker time: y1, d279, glowtide, mh (-) 

Do I get to be part of a community I'm physically far from, or am I just deluding myself again? What if I'm just being tolerated, all over again? What do people say of me, when I'm not there?

bunker time: y1, d279, glowtide, mh (-) 

Please be so kind as not to just say I'm welcome. Words are nothing but wind.

bunker time: y1, d279, glowtide, loneliness, plague 

I was supposed to be there with the rest of you, and then a plague happened, and I know it's the least important possible thing to be upset about here but still.

bunker time: y1, d279, glowtide, loneliness, the obvious dangerous implication is not true 

Sometimes I wonder how long it would take for anyone to actually notice if I just vanished suddenly.

bunker time: y1, d279, glowtide, loneliness, the obvious dangerous implication is not true, seeming non-sequitur 

German surely has a word for that thing that cats and other small colonial predators sometimes do where they go hide somewhere to die.

bunker time: y1, d279, not exclusviely glowtide, mh(-) 

me: I must offer something of value to this community I feel myself to be at the edges of, so that they will not reject me

also me: I will never be fully sure whether I am accepted in this community that I feel myself to be at the edges of because of the thing of value I brought, why does this keep happening to me

bunker time: y1, d279, glowtide, woo, mh(-) 

tbh I'm kinda hoping we fail tonight and the sun just doesn't come back

wouldn't fimbulwinter just be the cherry on top of this shit sundae of a year

(which will still be the best year in the next decade)

bunker time: y1, d279, mh (-) 

why can't I trust that people like me

bunker time: y1, d279, mh (-) 

ffs I have a crush on someone and I'm half-convinced that they barely tolerate me

bunker time: y1, d279, glowtide, food, drugs 

anyway now I have potpie and also pot

bunker time: y1, d280, timekeeping 

Seven quarantines, and today is the solstice.

bunker time: y1, d280, mh (~), social/romantic 

It occurs to me all of a sudden that all this worry I feel, all these games I end up half-consciously playing around how long to wait until responding and micro-positioning around power dynamics and trying to pretend I need the other person less than they need me -

that these things are likely totally unnecessary and the other person doesn't even realize that they're going on, and that if I were ever actually justified in doing these things, that that's a relationship I probably don't want to be in to start with.

bunker time: y1, d280, mh (~), social/romantic 

Anyway I guess what I'm saying is I'm kind of an anxious mess and if I've reached out to you to say I have a crush on you that that was a massive effort of will and also headpats pls.

bunker time: y1, d281, mh (-), social 

oh good now I get to struggle with rejection sensitivity and then subsequent anxiety again with respect to the group I'm slowly joining, cool and good

bunker time: y1, d281, mh (-), social 

why did I think that they actually liked me

bunker time: y1, d288 

Suddenly, snow.

bunker time: y1, d290, reflections on the past gregorian year 

This year, what did I get done? What did I achieve?

1. I survived. I lived through a literal fucking plague.

2. I finally saw what might be this nation's fever breaking, if even a little bit - direct action on the one hand, and electoralist bleed-stopping on the other.

3. I passed my quals in algebra and geometry with flying colors. I got a rerun of the Forty Days of Hell, and I won.

4. I finally managed to get in touch with local mental health services.

5. I kept my tiny experiment in macroeconomics running (again, *through a plague.*)
5'. (More on that here: lorx.us/favor )

6. I bought a first firearm, and have been teaching myself to shoot long(ish)-range. I'm still decently good at it, after all these years; thank muscle memory, I suppose.

7. I applied to about 50 postdoc math programs.

8. I helped out with local mutual aid efforts and jail support (again, DURING A PLAGUE) more than a few times, both materially and with labor.

9. Colossal successes in [Unspecified Project 3] through predictive skill and access to [unspecified resource] permitting generous aid.

bunker time: y1, d290, reflections on the past gregorian year 

10. I came to conceptualize mathematical research, academic pursuits, and other personal pursuits as *literal* pursuits; that is, hunting abstractions.

11. I taught several friends to hunt basic algebra and calculus.

12. I turned 27; again, IN THE MIDDLE OF A WORLDWIDE PLAGUE. I didn't fully expect to make it this far.

13. I won the Little Drummer Boy Game! 9 hours to go on the bonus round.

14. I kept my own plague calendar and covid statistics tracking.

14'.) The calendar (BLaRTS) is defined to have Bunker Time Day 1 as March 17; right now is Year 1, Day 290. More finely, right now as I type this is BLaRTS T+24,985,000 - the time since 2020/3/17, UTC 22:00.

The plague stats are here: docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d

15. I put the finishing touches on my first original result (in geometric group theory, no less!).

Could I have done more? Certainly. But ultimately, hindsight is 2020.

bunker time: y1, d290, reflections on the past gregorian year 

At any rate if at midnight we roll over back to January 1st 2020, you can count on me ruling the world by about April.

bunker time: y1, d290, reflections on the past gregorian year, death 

Let us remember those who entropy has stolen from us this past year.

Let their names and their deeds live on in us.

Liang Wudong, who is dead, but not forgotten.
Li Wenliang, who is dead, but not forgotten.
David Graeber, who is dead, but not forgotten.
John Horton Conway, who is dead, but not forgotten.
Vaughan Jones, who is dead, but not forgotten.
Freeman Dyson, who is dead, but not forgotten.
Chuck Yeager, who is dead, but not forgotten.
Michael Hertz, who is dead, but not forgotten.
Ronald Lewis Graham, who is dead, but not forgotten.
Alex Trebek, who is dead, but not forgotten.
Shin Kyuk-ho, who is dead, but not forgotten.
Wes Wilson, who is dead, but not forgotten.
Yi Hae-won, who is dead, but not forgotten.

bunker time: y1, d290, reflections on the past gregorian year, death 

Cullen Mahany, who is dead, but not forgotten.
Rick May, who is dead, but not forgotten.
Ahmaud Arbery, who is dead, but not forgotten.
Breonna Taylor, who is dead, but not forgotten.
George Floyd, who is dead, but not forgotten.
James Scurlock, who is dead, but not forgotten.
Krzysztof Penderecki, who is dead, but not forgotten.
Kim Yong-un, who is dead, but not forgotten.
Bernd Fischer, who is dead, but not forgotten.
Peter Borwein, who is dead, but not forgotten.
Bernard Stiegler, who is dead, but not forgotten.
Michael Darwin Morley, who is dead, but not forgotten.
George Robery Carruthers, who is dead, but not forgotten.

I don't believe there's anything after death, unless people make it, and we haven't yet. Accordingly, these people are permanently gone. It is now ours to remember them, and to continue their work.

bunker time: y1, t+25000000, timekeeping 

As of a few hours ago, it is BLaRTS T+25 megaseconds of the bunker era.

bunker time: y1, d290 

Happy New Year!

bunker time: y1, d291, guns 

Got to do a little science today - tested out some armor-piercing ammunition and found it didn't do a thing to 1/4" AR500 plate. Possibly was due to how the target was hung up? Fun either way.

bunker time: y1, d296, uspol, trumpageddon 

well, we sure are livetooting a doomed coup attempt in the year of our luigi BLaRTS 1, day 296

bunker time: y1, d296, chem, idle thoughts 

I wonder if topologically interesting molecules have an chemically interesting properties? @Canageek ?

Like - use the stick number for knots to make a hideously densely trefoil-knotted topoisomer of benzene. Does it behave any different?

bunker time: y1, d296, chem, idle thoughts 

@lorxus Ok, so what you are talking about are called isomers. Same composition, different connections.

Easy example: transplatin vs cisplatin

and I just learned I don't have chemdraw installed XD

Ok, So is is trans-Dichlorodiammineplatinum(II). PtCl2(NH3)2. It is mostly just a molecule you can make useful things from. It is called that as the similar groups are across from one another, that is trans.

bunker time: y1, d296, chem, idle thoughts 

@lorxus This is cisplatin, a famous anti-cancer drug. cis = the identical groups are on the same side of the central atom, beside one another. Totally different properties.

bunker time: y1, d296, chem, idle thoughts 

@lorxus Ah, do you also know about enatiomers and such?

Where you actually asking about spacial arrangement, as that is very different then topological.

bunker time: y1, d296, chem, idle thoughts 

@Canageek No, definitely things like these: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Molecula

bunker time: y1, d296, chem, idle thoughts 

@lorxus OK, so yeah. Those are spacial arrangements, not topological.

Topological just refers to how the atoms are connected via bonds, like in graph or network theory, with molecular knots you care about spacial arrangements.

The answer is yes, and they do have weird properties, but I've actually never encountered a um, use for them. Mostly papers showing off how clever the chemist who made them was.

The exception is en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rotaxane which have a lot of research into them though I don't know of any uses.

bunker time: y1, d296, chem, idle thoughts 

@lorxus On a larger scale, in the solid state, you can get interpenetrated networks. This is one from my thesis, each colour is a different network that doesn't come into contact with the others. (The actual atoms have been heavily simplified to show how they interpenetrate)

These are mostly an annoyance, as porous materials with channels in them are a big research area right now, as you can react things inside the channels and the amount of internal volume you can get is insane. So lots of catalytic, gas storage, purification use. Interpenetration in that case is usually bad, as it fills up that volume, though you can see in this case it leaves plenty of space.

bunker time: y1, d296, chem, idle thoughts 

@lorxus But yeah, people do make knots, I saw someone make a Star of David a few years back by interweaving two molecules.

chemistryworld.com/news/molecu

I haven't heard of any interesting properties for them, but ah, I could have missed something?

I think they are usually made to demonstrate a technique so far, rather then for the molecule themselves.

bunker time: y1, d296, chem, idle thoughts 

@lorxus If you have specific questions let me know

bunker time: y1, d296, chem, idle thoughts 

@Canageek Does this exist as a conformation of hexane? If we decorated the vertices with bulky steric hindrance groups would it help stabilize?

Follow

bunker time: y1, d296, chem, idle thoughts 

@lorxus I'm almost certain that it doesn't, and no, adding steroid bulk to it would make everything worse, that confirmation puts the hydrogen way too close together.

hexane has two moderately stable confirmations, chair and boat, and then one unstable one that's an intermediate between the two that I believe is somewhat metastable and I'm blanking on its name right now

· · SubwayTooter · 1 · 0 · 1

bunker time: y1, d296, chem, idle thoughts 

@Canageek half-chair?

bunker time: y1, d296, chem, idle thoughts 

@lorxus Could be? I don't recall the name. I have the original German paper outlining how they worked these out geometrically if you want.

bunker time: y1, d296, chem, idle thoughts 

@Canageek No, I remember them well enough. Would the steric hindrance get any less bad if it were benzene instead of cyclohexane? There'd be half the hydrogens then.

bunker time: y1, d296, chem, idle thoughts 

@lorxus Can't twist it, benzene only exists as such due to being flat, it lets the electrons flow around the ring

bunker time: y1, d296, chem, idle thoughts 

@lorxus And even if you could twist cyclohexane into that conformation it would just move back to one is the other ones right away

bunker time: y1, d296, chem, idle thoughts 

@Canageek How? Wouldn't the knottedness prevent that? It'd need to break bonds to get back into one of the stable confirmations.

bunker time: y1, d296, chem, idle thoughts 

@lorxus Of right, yeah, it would just unmake itself then, it needs the hydrogen to be 1.1 Å apart

bunker time: y1, d296, chem, idle thoughts 

@lorxus twist-boat! That is it

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