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Holy shit there's a cart with complementary food on it and fucking everyone is swarming it

Like actually swarming.

It's fucking nuts!

Got deplaned because of some mechanical error... Glad they caught it now instead of when it was over the ocean!

On the plus side, it's like getting a second chance at the flight! I don't have to try out the shitty video games with the bad controllers because I already know they're terrible! 👍

I apparently finished reading Order of the Phoenix and am like a quarter way through Half-Blood Prince, but...

I have zero memory of starting the next book, and I have no idea how the previous one ended >.>

I read half a book on my first flight

Who KNOWS what I could accomplish on my next one!


I'm inside a giant metal bird right now! ✈️

It's preparing to fly to the capital of a once-great empire that ruled most of the Mediterranean Sea and Europe!

Graahhh I lost my Apple Watch going through airport security ☹️

Hopefully someone will find it. It's on lost mode with my phone number on the screen AND my number is with the lost and found, so hopefully it'll be there when I get back...

Pre-distressing jeans is probably the best job in the world. Every day you punch in at 9:00 AM, and then just beat the hell out of pants all day with flails and hammers.

People respect you.

Your children are proud of their jean beating parent.

Christ almighty, how the fuck does Comcast fail to deliver internet so frequently?

Whew! I managed to snag an order for a physical copy of Yooka-Laylee from ! I made sure to be on the button right when it became available because I knew it'd be popular. The "Classic Edition" sold out in less than 3 minutes! 😳

Now I just have to wait...

Five items probably needed to summon me:

• A jar of caramel OR a pile of candy
• A plate of Japanese katsu curry on rice
• Any number of dogs greater than 0
• A design and outline of a web app you want built
• A device with internet access

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