But at least I found a custom 4K texture pack for Majora's Mask 3D that I should be able to use to make something nice... if I come up with anything good, I'll share the result!
I did need to use Blender 2.77 (instead of the most recent version) to import the models with all the textures intact, and I had to set different lighting and remove the specularity from all the materials individually, but in the end, it works perfectly!
Oh cool, cool thanks #PopSockets. Copyright sucks. I'm so angry. and sad. It's just a one-off print, but nope. Ugh.
I spent way too much time on this thing just to get it rejected... This sucks.