annoyed

Discogs started using webp for images instead of jpeg, which means i can't get album art from there as part of my ingest workflow anymore. or i guess i *could,* but opening a new terminal window to run imagemagick is too irritating

it doesn't help that every site sends webp with a .jpg file extension

trans, getting letters 

A list of mental health professionals in the United States who will provide a letter of support for transgender services on first visit

(as given to me by one of the professionals on the list)

docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d

:boost_ok: Boosts very okay

i am a patient boy ⌚
i wait 🕛
i wait ⌛
i wait ⏱️
i wait 🕰️

lyricsposting 

a boy becomes normal today
and finally breaks away
into freshness and understanding:
he pushed the world he knew

(will the world break him back?
will someone snap him in half?
and build back the glass?
or is it just the boy now?)

nsfw + fandom + drug ment 

last night on edibles i spent a few hours re-reading 30k words of smutfic in my ao3 bookmarks (which go back a long way)

about half that time was spent w/ this specific 5k word junerezi fic i really love, "penny in a bed of flowers." it's this, really gentle depiction of transfem intimacy and vulnerability and catharsis. i feel a lot of feelings with it

really good night

why did Hum make 2 albums about going to space and being sad that you're going to space

i haven't seen this building in 2 years

i was a disabled (obviously so, in hindsight) full-time student the last time i sat here. today, ~exactly 2 years on, i'm sitting here a disabled (and acutely aware of it) dropout

feeling introspective right now

it's the 'tism, man. shit

"for Kodacolor-X"

you tongue of flame inhabiting
engineers, chemists, teams of
marketers, husbands of families,
you live, they lived, and greet us

stood here in the "haze on the hills"--
bright cloud in a blue dye sky, fading, failing--
i love you, things aren't the same now

but i just bought a kilogram of CD-3 off Alibaba
so i guess we're doing this anyway

[a/n: with a nod towards "Crossing Brooklyn Ferry"]

Chien / dog 

@oniricorpe a pupper!!! a good boy!!!!!!!!

lyricsposting anti-patriotism 

i would like to salute
the ashes of american flags

Fuji just discontinued C200

my favorite color film

frowning rn

(I bought 8 rolls in person a month ago, bc i had a feeling this was on the way, but it still smarts)

i think this counts as a poem? it definitely encodes *something*

i might revise this

Show thread

last night i dreamt about a straight girl i very briefly knew in college, one of those sweet christian girls who doesn't realize how hard they're masking

it was like we never stopped talking

i met a few girls like that in college. my mom was one of them before i was alive. i hope they're all ok

also in the dream she asked me for some adderall for a party like... yass queen

weight discussion (+) 

i've lost 5ish pounds since i started biking 3-4 times a week (close to two weeks ago), and 7-8lbs since i started running a mild + nutritionally balanced caloric deficit close to a month ago

i think it's mostly water weight so far, bc i've been eating less sugar and simple carbs, and haven't been running a big enough deficit to lose that much. i still feel pretty good about it

about a month and a half ago i gained the ability to see my mom's constant and incorrigible fatshaming during my childhood as what it was--vile abusive shit--and quit giving a fuck about it. now i can quiet the copy of her shouting in my head and exercise/eat well for my own sake. and that's all it is; obv i like that i'm losing weight (living in a society will do that, internalized fatphobia is still a thing i have even if i recognize it), but i know from experience that i wouldn't be doing cardio 3x/wk if i didn't enjoy it for its own sake (and i DO enjoy it)

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